Housemistresses

[Julia Page]

This is the first time I've written here - despite promises Munch! I haven't worked through all the memories so I might be duplicating this one. Being caught by the Hag talking after lights out and being taken downstairs to polish the bar in the cloakroom (and the stairs?) with a shoe brush and shoe polish. Being made to sleep on my own in one of the spare rooms upstairs - am I imagining this? I was very scared that one of the resident ghosts might appear.

Suffice to say that when I was told that my senior house was sixes I cried my eyes out! Julia

[Katharine]

Welcome Julia - glad to have someone else who remembers the Hag so well! You will, I am sure find some of my memories of her.

[midget]

Miss Norris (3s) was also referred to as The Hag in the 40s-50s. Remember the song
"The hag is astride this night for to ride,
The Devil and she together"?

This could be muttered under the breath as an early warning system.

[MaryB]

Having just joined, I can fill some of the gaping void that is 3s after 1952. Not sure when Mrs Norris left but she was followed by Miss Lilian Thomson (no p), always known as Lil. Thin and white haired, she looked like a "typical" housemistress in shapeless skirts and jumpers and flat shoes, and she was a nitpicky disciplinarian who never seemed to have much of a sense of humour. One refrain was "Have you brushed your hairs?" - note the interesting use of the plural - and she was absolutely determined that no outdoor shod foot should ever find its way into the dayroom. She must have had a strong sense of duty, as I remember that when she lost her voice once, instead of giving in and going sick she went about house and dining hall notebook in hand, thrusting written instructions at the nearest girl to read out, and woe betide her if she didn't read exactly what was written there...

I was her "slave" (aka cleaner and general errand runner) in either the UIVth or LVth and began to get to know her a bit better - she had a higher education qualification from, I think Wye College and a twin(?) sister who lived in their home in Staplehurst with a dog called Fern that they both loved. I remember how she used to get up at the crack of dawn to leave to get there for the one measly night away ("double day off") per term housemistresses got, and coming back miserable to take control afterwards and deal with the aftermath of the riotous night we'd spent being supervised - or not - by Chemi T or Nutto.

What a dreadful life. I really think housemistresses were worse off than we were - no real privacy or autonomy, a houseful of girls who were fairly pitiless and critical, and the appalling snobbery of the staff dining room where academic and house staff sat at segregated tables, so none of the contra mundum solidarity we enjoyed. I became more aware of her resentment at the life in my last year or so, just before she left at the end of 1970 - how she felt she was as well educated as some of the teaching staff but it made no difference, they still treated her like a servant. I don't know what had led her to CH and I'm fairly sure she didn't enjoy the job - she never seemed to take the kind of pride in our achievements that other hms did, or have much warmth towards us en masse. I sort of assume now that she needed to work so that she and her sister could keep the house. Which, if true, was pretty noble really. She and I exchanged Christmas cards for many years, until one year there just wasn't one...

Lil was replaced just before I left, after a term's interregnum (see elsewhere for the "running tea" debacle) by an Old 7 whose name I can't remember but whose continued allegiance to 7s (where her daughter was destined to go the following year, I think) was a bit difficult for us 3s. She was somewhat ingratiating: I remember that Rosemary thought she couldn't be trusted, and she may have been right. But in any case, for me 3s and Lil were synonymous, and when I think back I can still hear that cawing "Have you brushed your hairs?"

RIP Lil (presumably) - and I hope you had a lovely retirement with Fern and your sister.

[Jo]

I remember Lil, even though I was in 5s. She was head housemistress when I started, so she always officiated in the dining hall. In those days I did a mean impersonation of her extraordinarily piercing voice "Straight back to your own houses now please, and no talking on the way!" being her catchphrase after prep.

I think you are right about the housemistresses' life, Mary - I have said on here before that we ended up with some very bitter and twisted characters simply because DR probably struggled to recruit anyone at all for the jobs. Things improved in my final year when flats were built at the front of the first floor in each house, so that they finally got a bit of privacy and independence. And we in 5s finally got a human housemistress!

IIRC the person you referred to after Lil was Mrs Worley. I didn't realise she was an Old Blue herself but she certainly had a daughter at the school although I wouldn't have remembered which house she was in. Her name was Mandy and she was maybe four or so years younger than me. I didn't know Mrs W well but I would have agreed with your description and so did our HM, with whom I got on very well.

[MaryB]

Thanks Jo. Yes, Mrs Worley, of course. Definitely an old 7! I'd forgotten Lil was head hm... a role I think I associate with Miss/Mrs Houghton of 8s, who had real style.

[Angela Woodford]

I remember Lil, even though I was in 5s. She was head housemistress when I started, so she always officiated in the dining hall. In those days I did a mean impersonation of her extraordinarily piercing voice "Straight back to your own houses now please, and no talking on the way!" being her catchphrase after prep.

I think you are right about the housemistresses' life, Mary - I have said on here before that we ended up with some very bitter and twisted characters simply because DR probably struggled to recruit anyone at all for the jobs.

Isn't it strange that DR continued to employ such "bitter and twisted" women as Housemistresses? She could have changed this situation by making the lives of the Housemistresses more bearable. Just two consecutive days off per term!

I too could do the "Lil" voice with a fair degree of accuracy! From the very first time that she took our prep when I was in 111', I worked on the face she would assume after 30 minutes in order to announce

"Chinge - your - prip!"

as if this were some sort of dire punishment. The face was the clue to the voice. And of course, there was always that pre-crime command that there was to be no talking on the way back from prep. Invariably, we began to chatter half way across the playground.

Thank you Mary for the insight into her situation. A twin sister and a dog called Fern to support! Yes, it must have been a struggle for Lil to work all those years as a Housemistress when she had responsibility for a home elsewhere - and I bet the Hertford Heirarchies made life even more frustrating for her. We could be a merciless lot - I remember how 6s could torment Jackdaw, whom we'd reduced to quite a state of nerves before she left.

Yes, I see Lil in a different light now.

The Goat was OK, though, wasn't she, Jo?

PS I was just thinking of the segregation of academic staff, non academic staff and Housemistresses. Mary mentions the advantage that we had "contra mundam" but the heirarchies worked to some degree for us too. How about the A and B streamings, the Oxford and Cambridge possibles v the "ordinary" universities v the other non-distingushed (probably nursing) splittings in the V1 Form? And then the Senior Senior privilege of those who got to live in the Flat? And even the disapproval of friendships between those of different ages or in different Houses?

How out of date it all seems now.

[Jo]

I don't remember the Goat very well as I only had her for a maximum of a year - or she may have left part way through my first year. I remember her as being brisk, no-nonsense, a bit strict and not very sympathetic to this very young, completely bereft and homesick child, but fundamentally ok in comparison to some of the complete nutters we had later. As far as I remember she was fair, predictable, and in control, which I think is probably about as good as we could have expected at the time.

[fra828]

8's had a lovely young housemistress when I first started in 1967,( same year as you Jo). She was Miss Barlow, but she didn't stay for more than a term or two. I was also very homesick , and don't think I could have coped with any of the sterner ones at the start Next came Miss Willie, (we called her Willie Wombat, but not unkindly, she was a sweet lady in lots of ways) She had the mickey taken out of her cos of her name. She was probably in her late 60's, not at all strict but inneffective, didn't seem to cope well, and I don't think she was there long either. Next came Mrs Gardiner who was there for the rest of my time at CH. She was ok , compared to many of the others, and could be understanding. She was middle aged and had a teenage daughter at another boarding school. And my lovely schoolmum, Helen- I haven't forgotten her kindness and gentle ways when I first started at CH. She is someone I have heard Kerren mention; if not for Helen and Miss Barlow I would have probably run away on the first day!

[Jo]

I remember Mrs Gardiner. She was bit more exotic than the average housemistress at that time, having been divorced rather than widowed or unmarried. IIRC she arrived as Mrs Pryke, and after a while (maybe a couple of years or so) announced one lunchtime in the Dining Hall when she was in charge of lunch that henceforth she was reverting to her previous name and would be known as Mrs Gardiner.

We sussed from people in 8s that she did a good line in honesty in regard to questions of an ....errr.... sexual nature, so a bunch of us innocently set her up one time when she was taking prep, by asking some leading questions. She offered for us to come to her sitting room one evening, even though she wasn't our housemistress, for her to explain it all to us. Naturally we were thrilled at the prospect of such smutty delights; however, when we got there she was so down to earth and un-coy about it all that it quite took the nudge-nudge element out of it for us and we behaved ourselves and listened quite seriously and with real interest. It was quite an eye-opener, even though we had all had the basic facts explained to us by our parents as a pre-requisite for starting at CH.

Happy times......

[MaryB]

even though we had all had the basic facts explained to us by our parents as a pre-requisite for starting at CH.

Not as a formal prerequisite surely? I think my parents would have sent me to Chichester High School rather than do that (they were in two minds about CH anyway, especially as they'd never seen it until the day they took me, which I find hard to believe even now. They took it on trust from my primary school headmistress that it was a good school.)

[MaryB]

Contra mundum or divide and rule: yes the hierarchies were definitely there Munch. I'd add the divides between sporty and rabbitty, and also choir and non choir. It seemed to me that if you were sporty and choir, which I so wasn't, that nothing else mattered - academic prowess really couldn't compare: even getting into Oxford could be made to seem like a Bad Thing ("But Mary, I really don't think you are mature enough to take up the place. You had better stay on and try for a scholarship next year?" For once I did assert myself and said firmly that I would leaving in the summer!) . Oh dear... I feel a great deal of angst coming on.

Afterwards of course none of it matters, and whenever I've met a Hertford OB from any generation it's been like meeting a long lost sister, even if she was captain of the 1st 11 and led the 1st sopranos.

I hope this makes sense to someone out there.....

[Jo]

even though we had all had the basic facts explained to us by our parents as a pre-requisite for starting at CH.

Not as a formal prerequisite surely? I think my parents would have sent me to Chichester High School rather than do that (they were in two minds about CH anyway, especially as they'd never seen it until the day they took me, which I find hard to believe even now. They took it on trust from my primary school headmistress that it was a good school.)

To be accurate, I think (and this has come up previously) that the list sent to our parents stipulated that "as the houses are of mixed ages, girls should be informed about menstruation". My mother took the opportunity to give me the lowdown on the basic facts of life as well, which I imagine many mothers probably did.

It does seem incredible that we didn't look round the school before arriving on the first day of term, especially when you consider that these days I think they get several visits plus an induction week well before they start.

[MaryB]

That accounts for it - we were the last year to go into junior houses so wouldn't have needed to be told.

[Katharine]

Just got internet back after what seems like weeks - don't even now whether it will stay. Wow what a lot of Hertford postings in that time and welcome to all new members especially Frances - I will reply to your email soon!

I think we may have seen heirarchies differently depending on our own talents and abilities. I saw myself as a bit of a CH failure while I was there - I was completely non-musical still turning the pages for the pianist in House singing comp in LV because my voice was/is so dire, and I wasn't very sporty but was Goalie in Hockey. The sight of an approaching Kerren at full speed with that lethal looking hockey stick in her hands has stuck with me for years!! I never saw myself, while there, as having achieved anything special - yet other people saw me differently. I gained both my Queen's Guide Badge and DofE Gold as well as a place at Oxford so I must have done something while I was there! However the most notable achievement of my time at CH in undoubtedly the fact that every year from LIV to LVI the garden I shared with Hilary Evans came first or second overall! (It was the one with the silver birch tree just by the swings)

Must go and find those postings I saw about Sunday lunches - I can tell a story or two about those!