Jokes, please.....
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- Grecian
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- J.R.
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- Real Name: John Rutley
- Location: Dorking, Surrey
........... and a few more for one of our prolific posters !
______________________
Blonde Logic
Two blondes living in Townsville were sitting on a bench talking....(at night) One blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away.........
Melbourne or the moon ?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Melbourne...?????"
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CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says," What's the story ?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that ?"
________________________
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her licence.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you !"
________________________
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side ?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,
"You ARE on the other side."
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AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you ?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "You've broken your finger"
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BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space !"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon !"
The Blonde said, "So what ? We're going to be the first on the sun !"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot ! You'll burn up !" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night !"
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IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it ?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off ?"
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FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES !
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that ?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs !"
______________________
Blonde Logic
Two blondes living in Townsville were sitting on a bench talking....(at night) One blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away.........
Melbourne or the moon ?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Melbourne...?????"
_______________
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says," What's the story ?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that ?"
________________________
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her licence.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you !"
________________________
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side ?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,
"You ARE on the other side."
________________________
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. "Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed.
Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you ?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "You've broken your finger"
_______________________________________
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space !"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon !"
The Blonde said, "So what ? We're going to be the first on the sun !"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot ! You'll burn up !" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night !"
__________________________________
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it ?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off ?"
_____________________________________
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES !
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that ?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs !"
John Rutley. Prep B & Coleridge B. 1958-1963.
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- Grecian
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- englishangel
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- Location: Amersham, Buckinghamshire
The first of the baby-boomers are starting to turn sixty-years old. In honor of that occasion, a number of popular songs of our era are in the process of being revised to reflect conditions of the present day.
They include:
1. Herman's Hermits -- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker
2. The Bee Gees -- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip
3. Bobby Darin -- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash
4. Ringo Starr -- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends
5. Roberta Flack -- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face
6. Johnny Nash -- I Can't See Clearly Now
7. Paul Simon -- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
8. Commodores -- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom
9. Marvin Gaye - Heard it through the Grape Nuts
10. Procol Harem -- A Whiter Shade of Hair
11. Leo Sayer -- You Make Me Feel Like Napping
12. The Temptations -- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone
13. Abba -- Denture Queen
14. Tony Orlando -- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall
15. Helen Reddy -- I am Woman, Hear Me Snore
16. Willie Nelson -- On the Commode Again
They include:
1. Herman's Hermits -- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker
2. The Bee Gees -- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip
3. Bobby Darin -- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash
4. Ringo Starr -- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends
5. Roberta Flack -- The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face
6. Johnny Nash -- I Can't See Clearly Now
7. Paul Simon -- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
8. Commodores -- Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom
9. Marvin Gaye - Heard it through the Grape Nuts
10. Procol Harem -- A Whiter Shade of Hair
11. Leo Sayer -- You Make Me Feel Like Napping
12. The Temptations -- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone
13. Abba -- Denture Queen
14. Tony Orlando -- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall
15. Helen Reddy -- I am Woman, Hear Me Snore
16. Willie Nelson -- On the Commode Again
"If a man speaks, and there isn't a woman to hear him, is he still wrong?"
- J.R.
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- Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2005 4:53 pm
- Real Name: John Rutley
- Location: Dorking, Surrey
THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY...? Check out these actual cases.
Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of a forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask.
A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire.
You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.
_________________________________________
Still think you're having a bad day ?
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the kitchen While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors. His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle,and the shattered patio door. She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband.
While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet. After being treated and released, the man returned home,looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched. Wait, it gets worse. As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started laughing so hard, one slipped, tipping the stretcher and dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
______________________________________________
Still having a bad day ? Just remember,it could be worse...
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
____________________________________________
Still think you are having a bad day ?
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
_______________________________________________
STILL think you're having a bad day ?
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two protesters were trampled to death.
____________________________________________
What? STILL having a bad day ?
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "Return to Sender" stamped on it. - Wait for it...
Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
Feel Better now ??
************************************************************
Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section of a forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask.
A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.
It was revealed that on the day of the fire, the man went diving off the coast, some 20 miles from the forest The fire fighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site of the forest fire.
You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a fire dip bucket 300 feet in the air. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.
_________________________________________
Still think you're having a bad day ?
A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio, his wife nearby in the kitchen While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally slipped into gear The man, still holding onto the handlebars, was dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors. His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut and bleeding, the motorcycle,and the shattered patio door. She called for an ambulance and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to her husband.
While the attendants were loading her husband, the wife managed to right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the toilet. After being treated and released, the man returned home,looked at the shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs. The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched. Wait, it gets worse. As the paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulance they asked the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started laughing so hard, one slipped, tipping the stretcher and dumping the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
______________________________________________
Still having a bad day ? Just remember,it could be worse...
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
____________________________________________
Still think you are having a bad day ?
A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen shaking frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his Walkman.
_______________________________________________
STILL think you're having a bad day ?
Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly. The two protesters were trampled to death.
____________________________________________
What? STILL having a bad day ?
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter bomb. It came back with "Return to Sender" stamped on it. - Wait for it...
Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.
Feel Better now ??
************************************************************
John Rutley. Prep B & Coleridge B. 1958-1963.
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- Grecian
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- englishangel
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- Posts: 6956
- Joined: Mon Feb 07, 2005 12:22 pm
- Real Name: Mary Faulkner (Vincett)
- Location: Amersham, Buckinghamshire
How to Make a Woman Happy
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master - Noxxxxx
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring food and beer
It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master - Noxxxxx
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Show up naked
2. Bring food and beer
"If a man speaks, and there isn't a woman to hear him, is he still wrong?"
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- Grecian
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- J.R.
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- Real Name: John Rutley
- Location: Dorking, Surrey
An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared. The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office.
The woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived alone all my life, I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house ?"
The receptionist checked with the senior partner who agreed, so he went to the spinster's home for the meeting to discuss her estate and the will. The lawyer's first question was, "Would you please tell me what you have in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed under your will ?"
She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories you see here, I have £40,000 in my savings account at the bank." Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you like the £40,000 to be distributed ?" The spinster said, "Well, as I've told you, I've lived a reclusive life, people have hardly ever noticed me, so I'd like them to notice when I pass on. I'd like to provide £35,000 for my funeral."
The lawyer remarked, "Well, for £35,000 you will be able to have a funeral that will certainly be noticed and will leave a lasting impression on anyone who may not have taken much note of you! But tell me, what would you like to do with the remaining £5,000 ?"
The spinster replied, "As you know, I've never married, I've lived alone almost my entire life, and in fact I've never slept with a man. Before I die, I'd like you to use the £5,000 to arrange for a man to sleep with me."
"This is a very unusual request," the lawyer said, adding, "but I'll see what I can do to arrange it and get back to you."
That evening, the lawyer was at home telling his wife about the eccentric spinster and her weird request.
After thinking about how much she could do around the house with £5,000 . . . and with a bit of coaxing, she got her husband to agree to provide the service himself.
She said, "I'll drive you over tomorrow morning, and wait in the car until you're finished."
The next morning, she drove him to the spinster's house and waited while he went into the house. She waited for over an hour, but her husband didn't come out.
So she blew the car horn. Soon, the upstairs bedroom window opened, the lawyer stuck his head out and yelled, "Pick me up tomorrow, she's going to let the Government bury her !"
The woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived alone all my life, I rarely see anyone, and I don't like to go out. Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house ?"
The receptionist checked with the senior partner who agreed, so he went to the spinster's home for the meeting to discuss her estate and the will. The lawyer's first question was, "Would you please tell me what you have in assets and how you'd like them to be distributed under your will ?"
She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories you see here, I have £40,000 in my savings account at the bank." Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you like the £40,000 to be distributed ?" The spinster said, "Well, as I've told you, I've lived a reclusive life, people have hardly ever noticed me, so I'd like them to notice when I pass on. I'd like to provide £35,000 for my funeral."
The lawyer remarked, "Well, for £35,000 you will be able to have a funeral that will certainly be noticed and will leave a lasting impression on anyone who may not have taken much note of you! But tell me, what would you like to do with the remaining £5,000 ?"
The spinster replied, "As you know, I've never married, I've lived alone almost my entire life, and in fact I've never slept with a man. Before I die, I'd like you to use the £5,000 to arrange for a man to sleep with me."
"This is a very unusual request," the lawyer said, adding, "but I'll see what I can do to arrange it and get back to you."
That evening, the lawyer was at home telling his wife about the eccentric spinster and her weird request.
After thinking about how much she could do around the house with £5,000 . . . and with a bit of coaxing, she got her husband to agree to provide the service himself.
She said, "I'll drive you over tomorrow morning, and wait in the car until you're finished."
The next morning, she drove him to the spinster's house and waited while he went into the house. She waited for over an hour, but her husband didn't come out.
So she blew the car horn. Soon, the upstairs bedroom window opened, the lawyer stuck his head out and yelled, "Pick me up tomorrow, she's going to let the Government bury her !"
John Rutley. Prep B & Coleridge B. 1958-1963.
- J.R.
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- Posts: 15835
- Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2005 4:53 pm
- Real Name: John Rutley
- Location: Dorking, Surrey
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80-year-old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87-year-old said; "Well, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home, the 80-year-old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help.
He said, "Do you have any Italian bread ?" She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some ?"
He said, "I want 5 loaves."
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves - by the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be hard !"
He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody in the world knows about this Italian bread thing but me."
The 87-year-old said; "Well, I eat Italian bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home, the 80-year-old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help.
He said, "Do you have any Italian bread ?" She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some ?"
He said, "I want 5 loaves."
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves - by the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be hard !"
He replied, "I can't believe it, everybody in the world knows about this Italian bread thing but me."
John Rutley. Prep B & Coleridge B. 1958-1963.
- J.R.
- Forum Moderator
- Posts: 15835
- Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2005 4:53 pm
- Real Name: John Rutley
- Location: Dorking, Surrey
After having dug to a depth of 1000 meters last year, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 1000 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, English scientist dug to a depth of 2000 meters and shortly after headlines in the UK newspapers read; English archaeologists have found traces of 2000 year old fibre-optic cable and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech digital communications network a thousand years earlier than the Scots.
One week later, Irish newspapers reported the following: After digging as deep as 5000 meters in a County Mayo bog, Irish scientists have found absolutely nothing. They, therefore, have concluded that 5000 years ago, Ireland's inhabitants were already using wireless technology !
Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, English scientist dug to a depth of 2000 meters and shortly after headlines in the UK newspapers read; English archaeologists have found traces of 2000 year old fibre-optic cable and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech digital communications network a thousand years earlier than the Scots.
One week later, Irish newspapers reported the following: After digging as deep as 5000 meters in a County Mayo bog, Irish scientists have found absolutely nothing. They, therefore, have concluded that 5000 years ago, Ireland's inhabitants were already using wireless technology !
John Rutley. Prep B & Coleridge B. 1958-1963.
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- cj
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- Real Name: Catherine Standing
- Location: Devon
A woman was telling her friend about the wonderful holiday she and her husband had enjoyed in America. They had taken in many of the great attractions; Disneyland, Washington, New York and the Grand Canyon.
"Wow, what did you think of the Grand Canyon?" asked the friend.
"Well, when my husband saw it, his face dropped a mile", the woman replied.
"Was it a bit disappointing?" returned the friend.
"No", the woman answered. "The twit fell over the edge."
"Wow, what did you think of the Grand Canyon?" asked the friend.
"Well, when my husband saw it, his face dropped a mile", the woman replied.
"Was it a bit disappointing?" returned the friend.
"No", the woman answered. "The twit fell over the edge."
Catherine Standing (Cooper) 
Canteen Cath 1.12 (1983-85) & Col A 20 (1985-90)
Any idiot can deal with a crisis. It takes a genius to cope with everyday life.

Canteen Cath 1.12 (1983-85) & Col A 20 (1985-90)
Any idiot can deal with a crisis. It takes a genius to cope with everyday life.