call for limericks

huntertitus · Post by **huntertitus** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 6:35 pm

I agree with you Mid A 15
A lovely and young beauty queen
Should not get too near
To our wives we hold dear
Or our wives would be right to turn mean

blondie95 · Post by **blondie95** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 8:09 pm

Well thank you all
for the kind words that fall
right out of your fingers
and onto these pages that linger
with humour for all to read

( i was so bad at these at school)

But i just want to say thankyou DBTS, huntertitus and Mid A 15 for the kind words that you all wrote about me! and DBTS I am glad you want to protect me on here!

DavebytheSea · Post by **DavebytheSea** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 8:44 pm

What a wonderful lady she is
The Forum now runs with a fizz.
Please don't think it too funny
That like bees round the honey
We swarm, and get all of a tizz!

huntertitus · Post by **huntertitus** » Thu Sep 21, 2006 11:44 pm

The best thing about this here thread
Is that members are mostly all wed
So if they start flirting
Then you can be certain
At least they are not quite yet dead!

DavebytheSea · Post by **DavebytheSea** » Fri Sep 22, 2006 12:45 am

.... and following Jude's example of becoming more serious, here is an offering in that vein

A hope that those who suffer may seek and find peace and good fellowship.

And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you. (John 16:22)

It saddens me
That some there be
Who suffer much
In life - have such
Catastrophe.

A failing health,
And paltry wealth,
So little loved,
Their hearts unmoved
By Passion's breath.

If they should chide
We must abide
With generous hearts
Their piercing darts
That wound our pride.

Nor criticise
Their carping cries
For they lack much
Where we lead such
Abundant lives.

Their righteous wrath
Our faults rebuff
(But truth to say
They often stray
Down the same path).

Is it, I ask,
Too great a task
Such deep distress
And bitterness
For them to mask?

Would they could bring
An offering
Of warm delight
In what they write
And say and sing!

For then we might
Give joy and light,
Their cares remove
With peace and love
And friendship bright.

Mrs C. · Post by **Mrs C.** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 6:03 pm

With a driver as charming as Jeeves
It`s a joy to be feeling the breeze
In your hair as he drives
You feel you`re alive....
.....and just pray the police aren`t on the road!!

But he`s given up driving at speed
And from now will be taking much heed
of the limits ,you see
if it starts with a three
he will have to drive slowly with me.

(this is not intended to suggest that Jeeves is anything other than a law-abiding driver - just the best I can do poetically!)[/i]

blondie95 · Post by **blondie95** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 8:07 pm

here you all go again
with lines flowing from the brain,
but im stuck here
without a thing between my ears
and i hope that this will surfice xx

Jeeves · Post by **Jeeves** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 9:14 pm

Mrs C. wrote:With a driver as charming as Jeeves
It`s a joy to be feeling the breeze
In your hair as he drives
You feel you`re alive....
.....and just pray the police aren`t on the road!!

But he`s given up driving at speed
And from now will be taking much heed
of the limits ,you see
if it starts with a three
he will have to drive slowly with me.

(this is not intended to suggest that Jeeves is anything other than a law-abiding driver - just the best I can do poetically!)[/i]

Limerick removed by request. Sad really as it was only a joke.

DavebytheSea · Post by **DavebytheSea** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 9:25 pm

Cough! cough! grunt. Although "aris" fills me with a deep foreboding, I thought that the last three limericks were all excellent endeavours. They have inspired me to write another of my own which has already made a brief appearance on the smut thread (NB - don't go there unless you are of sound mind and a robust disposition. The content carries a high health risk unless you enjoy such things as inuendo and other perverse pleasures). Anyway, here it is:

Before you start going tut-tut!
And accuse me of writing just smut
You should read some of Chaucer,
You will find he is coarser.
But none of his stuff will be cut!

huntertitus · Post by **huntertitus** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 9:58 pm

I remember that Chaucer refrain
Which practically came from the drain
The word hairs "eris"
The word arse "aris"
Made a rude but delightful refrain

Mrs C. · Post by **Mrs C.** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 10:27 pm

Perhaps Mr Jeeves should realise
It was he who confessed, in my eyes,
that he was the speeder,
not me, though the reader
should know he`s the best , without lies.

DavebytheSea · Post by **DavebytheSea** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 10:32 pm

I confess that these cars leave me cold
Whether new, second hand or just old.
But give me a boat
Which is always afloat
In the sun, with a friend who is bold!

Ruthie-Baby(old a/c) · Tue Sep 26, 2006 10:52 am

huntertitus wrote:The best thing about this here thread
Is that members are mostly all wed
So if they start flirting
Then you can be certain
At least they are not quite yet dead!

Although what you say may be true
And alas I can't speak here for you
Some of us are still single
Yet here we do mingle
Thanks to Plum we're now only a few.

Sorry Matt it's the best I could do - was trying to say congratulations.

So what will the rest of us do
If we're not to flirt with the crew?
While not the point of the forum
It won't make it half borin'
Lets bring on some posters anew.

huntertitus · Post by **huntertitus** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 6:47 pm

And how many weddings do you
Know that Plum has gone through with, gone through?
So you're left on the shelf
Almost by yourself
Has he married all single old blues?

And your avatar fills me with shock!
Are you hugging a giant chocolate cock?
Cock A doodle doo!
Did it melt over you
And leave choc all over your frock?

If that is no cock and no hen
I apologise, yes, once again
The picture is blurry
That thing don't look furry
It's an Easter chicken times ten!

blondie95 · Post by **blondie95** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:51 pm

once again we appear to be smut
it comes over us like rot
we try to ignore it
but yet we applaud it
and here i am failing again!