Unofficial Christ's Hospital Forum

Just posting the lyrics to the Housey Rap below,

A coupled of thoughts.

i) Dobbie and Crud, well, enough said.---- who was Crud? Why was enough said?

ii) With those **** masons in the upstairs dorm,--- to whom did this refer?

(To the tune of the foundation hymn, sung by a group)

Praise the lord for fags and home brew,
Rolling up in woodlands fair,
Busting, gating, rusticating,
Punish us but we don't care.

We can smoke and we can drink,
And we ain't taking no more crap,
The Bluecoat boys are making noise,
Welcome to the Housey Rap!


(Switch to a fast, dance rhythm, very silly voice, "MC Poulton")

This is MC Poulton rapping cross tha nation,
I'm master of head at this royal foundation.
With my rod of steel I'm hard to the school,
Yo hip babe, I'm mister cool.
I'm telling the school, across a funky beat,
don't mess with me you can't take the heat.
This is MC Poulton talking clear and true
I'm a mean **** and I'm watching you!


(less silly voice, a "Bluecoat Boy")

Oh **** off Poulton, you moronic git,
you're an ugly, balding, four-eyed sh1t.
We aren't going to take any crap from you,
You're a pompous little dickhead with a low IQ.
Everyone thinks you're a total ****,
You stupid, boring, little runt,
You're a brainless w****r, through and through,
And you can't tell us what to do.


(Back to "MC Poulton")

This is MC Poulton, talking tough,
and the Common Room Posse are playing rough.
The guys in gowns are here to stay,
Jackmaster Scrotumface, take it away!


(A very bad impression of JED, aka Mr Denison, LHA housemaster, sampled)

Hmm Yes! (repeat several times)


(Switch to a bouncy, jolly kind of tune, with a group chorus, to the tune of "Row, row, row your boat")

Lock, Lock, Lock's a cock,
And the food is crap,
Christ's Hospital Catering,
What a bunch of *****.


(Back to another, different "Bluecoat Boy")

Listen ********, we're on the mic,
You **** think you're the **** fourth reich,
Grimshaw, Jeffers and Bob are all sh1t,
and Jeffers' wife ain't got no tits.
Dobbie and Crud, well, enough said.
Lock's wife gives the head head,
With those **** masons in the upstairs dorm,
feeling up the second form.


(Back to "MC Poulton")

Come on homeboys, they're being rude,
We ain't taking sh1t from all them dudes,
The rapping staff are here to stay,
'Cause MC Hammer is here today


(A bad impression of "Hammer", housemaster of Th A, whose real name I've blanked on...)

U Can't Touch This! (repeat several times)


(Another jolly, bouncy tune, group chorus)

Hammer is a w****r! Hammer is a w****r!
Nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah!
Hammer is a w****r! Hammer is a w****r!
Nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah!


(Back to "MC Poulton")

I may be down but I sure ain't out,
However much you ******** shout,
'Cause I ain't gonna be beaten by you,
I'll strike back in the Housey Rap 2!


(Repeat the foundation hymn, instrumental, synthed up a bit)

(Post fade out voiceovers)

RDTS/Bob: Brr! Red hot mix, headmaster!
JED: Hmmm Yes!
Hammer: But I'm not a w****r. Am I, Mrs Hammer?

Crud has been mentioned in other threads on this forum. Mr McCall. A third person (Pattison)(sp?) is mentioned as being good friends with the "enough said" duo.

Of course, there was still a lot of homophobia in the 80s/90s that often involved conflating homosexuality and paedophilia. Perhaps the other two were just "confirmed bachelors" in a harmless sense. But they were all good friends, apparently...

You have to record that for the next Music at Christ's Hospital Collection!

yamaha wrote: Thu Jul 19, 2018 1:06 am You have to record that for the next Music at Christ's Hospital Collection!

Or remaster the original. https://soundcloud.com/mc-poulton/the-housey-rap For those who haven't heard it and for those who wish to reminisce. The lyrics are up at the first post, so if you're easily offended, probably best not listen.

bakunin wrote: Thu Jul 19, 2018 12:50 am Crud has been mentioned in other threads on this forum. Mr McCall. A third person (Pattison)(sp?) is mentioned as being good friends with the "enough said" duo.

Of course, there was still a lot of homophobia in the 80s/90s that often involved conflating homosexuality and paedophilia. Perhaps the other two were just "confirmed bachelors" in a harmless sense. But they were all good friends, apparently...

Didn't Mr McCall vanish one day, mid-term in about 1995? I don't recall any kind of announcement or notice. Anyone have an explanation, innocent or otherwise...?

ER McCall is down as housemaster of Maine A in my 1985 blue book. I can't find a Patterson.

Presumably an age thing.

But personally I believe the subject to be so serious that this type of post should not be here.

marty wrote: Thu Jul 19, 2018 9:33 am

bakunin wrote: Thu Jul 19, 2018 12:50 am Crud has been mentioned in other threads on this forum. Mr McCall. A third person (Pattison)(sp?) is mentioned as being good friends with the "enough said" duo.

Of course, there was still a lot of homophobia in the 80s/90s that often involved conflating homosexuality and paedophilia. Perhaps the other two were just "confirmed bachelors" in a harmless sense. But they were all good friends, apparently...

Didn't Mr McCall vanish one day, mid-term in about 1995? I don't recall any kind of announcement or notice. Anyone have an explanation, innocent or otherwise...?

Yes he did and no I don’t.

Is he still alive or has he passed away?

Scazza wrote: Thu Jul 19, 2018 12:54 pm ER McCall is down as housemaster of Maine A in my 1985 blue book. I can't find a Patterson.

Frank Patterson was a German teacher in the 90's and before. He lived in the lodge by the gate (I can't remember its name) and was a keen cyclist. I had him for GCSE and A-level.

Scazza wrote: Thu Jul 19, 2018 12:54 pm ER McCall is down as housemaster of Maine A in my 1985 blue book. I can't find a Patterson.

That’s right. Crud was Ma A. One of reasons Ma A was so wild - those guys went from the incredibly repressive regime of Grimmit to the devil-may-care world of Crud. There were a a few other contrasts - the bullying culture of RDTS to the bemused other-worldliness of JED. Peele was a bit like that - I think Maddren ran a pretty tight ship but the housemaster of Pe. A (whose name escapes me) was more libertarian.

Avon wrote: Thu Jul 19, 2018 9:08 pmthe bemused other-worldliness of JED.

That is the best description of JED I’ve ever heard.

Peele A housemaster was Endacott (not sure of the spelling) in my day.

time please wrote: Thu Jul 19, 2018 1:01 pm Presumably an age thing.

But personally I believe the subject to be so serious that this type of post should not be here.

Understood that you consider the reproduction of the lyrics to be inappropriate. That said, some of the content of the lyrics is very relevant to the question of who knew what in 1990; take a moment to consider why Sillett et al. were so keen to suppress its distribution.

That’s very conspiracy-ish.
I think the lyrics, language etc were pretty out of order, particularly in a time when you could get punished for swearing (and quite right too)...so it’s as simple as that why distribution was prevented. Fair enough I think?
I think any school today would strive pretty hard to prevent the distribution of something similar??

jakew wrote: Thu Jul 19, 2018 11:30 pm ...take a moment to consider why Sillett et al. were so keen to suppress its distribution.

The bluster of Sillett blundering around a set of recently departed OB in the hazy summer, with his mix of faux-pleading and legal threats was a joy to behold and an absolute vindication of the fact he had been promoted well beyond his abilities.

jtaylor wrote: Fri Jul 20, 2018 7:30 am That’s very conspiracy-ish.
I think the lyrics, language etc were pretty out of order, particularly in a time when you could get punished for swearing (and quite right too)...so it’s as simple as that why distribution was prevented. Fair enough I think?
I think any school today would strive pretty hard to prevent the distribution of something similar??

Not intended to be so conspiracy-ish.

That said, I'm not sure that a modern school without a paedophilia problem would expend too much energy on this kind of thing.