Housemistresses

[Angela Woodford]

(Indignant!)

I just bet DR forbade you to tell anybody about the shameful behaviour of Mrs Dean! It would have rebounded considerably on her reputation as in loco parentis! I can almost hear her voice

"... and I put you on your honour" (chin wobbles) "not to speak of this matter..." (compelling gaze)!

I know I would have been on to it at once if Pot had been vile to any of our juniors. Luckily, she loved them ("ee - ee - m'chuldren"). I thought that Millie had been the most horrid Housemistress, but this Mrs Dean beats all. Even Miss Screen with her sanitary-towel-witholding obsession.

No wonder DR wanted her error of judgement hushed up.

[chaosriddenyears]

The interview with DR was rather along those lines - she also wasn't very impressed by "running away" from the situation.

[englishangel]

I do wish someone had said something, I think there were others not just you 3 in the same situation from something that happened when I was in Upper Sixth. (someone on this Forum as it happens) Also my daughter was really difficult to get to school in her last year at primary and her first 2 years at secondary, and I do wonder if something similar was happening to her, presumably a contemorary rather than a teacher as it carried over schools.

[gma]

I think the biggest issue for me at that time was the enormous sense of unscaleable heirarchy that existed when viewed 'bottom up' - I don't know because I was bounced before I reached those lofty heights but I suspect that once you had arrived up there it didn't look quite so far when viewed 'top down'. I know that when I look back over my own behaviour at CH there was no question of me domonstrating some extreme 'acting out' which would be very recognisable these days but then was not - ditto for the housemistresses - the difference in experience on this thread alone is enough to show that there was little or no supervision of their performance or the atmsopheres within each house. I have only vague recollections of going into other houses (legitimately that is) and all others seemed so alien and strange in sights, behaviours even smells so there was no standardisation at all. I do remember Mrs Lawrence coming to 2s with an enormous sense of relief but by then I think I was so lost and out of control that I was ready to challenge all comers!

[dinahcat]

This is all so true gma. What became clear to me a long long time after I left was that the quality of parenting was so very poor. The older girls had far too much responsibility without any guidance and were still in need of parenting themselves.
My parents were far too naive about public schools and so in awe of the school that they would never dare complain about anything.They had also grownup during the war and so their view of what was bearable and what was unacceptable was somewhat distorted.

[chaosriddenyears]

We were not exactly encouraged to show our feelings and there was hardly time or privacy enough to confide in anyone who wasn't both in the same house and form, and even that was difficult enough.
I have often wondered what the housemistresses did most of the time - up until the time I left it seemed to be the VIth form who ran the house almost down to the last practical details.

By the way I have seen a picture of Kim on facebook and she is LOVELY looking and it made me really furious to think of her being told she was turning into a man (fume, rage).

[Jo]

We were not exactly encouraged to show our feelings and there was hardly time or privacy enough to confide in anyone who wasn't both in the same house and form, and even that was difficult enough.
I have often wondered what the housemistresses did most of the time - up until the time I left it seemed to be the VIth form who ran the house almost down to the last practical details.

By the way I have seen a picture of Kim on facebook and she is LOVELY looking and it made me really furious to think of her being told she was turning into a man (fume, rage).

Do you know, I'd never thought of that before, Lynn, and I think you're right. The VIth form had lots of responsibility and clearly knew the ins and outs of the school far better than housemistresses did. I don't think in general housemistresses cut much ice with the VIth form, and as a junior I remember being far more in awe of VIth formers than of housemistresses. It's quite possible that HMs felt inferior to seniors in their charge, and that's why they took it out on juniors. I wonder if the HM was there basically because legally there had to be an adult around?

[midget]

Ours wasn't above having a go at seniors as well. I think I've mentioned somewhere else that on our last Sunday at Hertford we came back from morning chapel to find the jelly we had made for our tea removed from the cupboard where we had left it to set. The bowl was on the table with a large notice "WHY WAS THIS JELLY MADE?" How petty can you get, and why was Nobs searching the study cupboard anyway?

[Kim2s70-77]

That reminds me of thetime I made several batches of Ginger beer in the kitchen of 2s. It was going great, until all the bottles started exploding. I was not popular!!

[Ajarn Philip]

Forgive me for briefly intruding (and I do feel like an intruder, as these experiences have obviously been so traumatic), but I can only think that most of these problems arise from the fact that housemistresses weren't teachers (which I hadn't really taken note of before). Why on earth not? Who were these women? What qualifications did they have? (Rhetorical question, obvously...) How in God's name could the sort of treatment described above be tolerated? And I can't believe senior staff could have been completely unaware of it.

I've always thought there were some tough aspects to Horsham at times (certainly in the 'old days'), but give me a good slippering any day rather than stick me in front of Mrs Dean. I'd have been a quivering wreck at the age of 12. I got most of my ghosts out of my system soon after joining this forum (very therapeutic), but my bad memories were of the way boys, not staff, treated boys.

Belated hugs all round.

[englishangel]

Housmistresses were recruited by advertising in "The Lady" (still going for upper-crust nannies and such) but of course there were no CRB checks or any training in those days, The only requirement seemed to be that you were female. I think the words "would suit childless widow" may even have appeared in the ad.

I doubt the senior staff even knew who the housemistresses were.

I don't know what the worst treated grew up to become (Kim, GMA and Lynn) but those of my era who were 'rebellious' all seem to be youth workers now.

[Fjgrogan]

Rumour had it that Miss Jenkins (aka the Hag) had either worked in a reform school before coming to CH, or that is where she moved onto after she left - I forget which.

[J.R.]

Housmistresses were recruited by advertising in "The Lady" (still going for upper-crust nannies and such) but of course there were no CRB checks or any training in those days, The only requirement seemed to be that you were female. I think the words "would suit childless widow" may even have appeared in the ad.

I doubt the senior staff even knew who the housemistresses were.

I don't know what the worst treated grew up to become (Kim, GMA and Lynn) but those of my era who were 'rebellious' all seem to be youth workers now.

Oh don't Mary !!

The mere mention of those words reminds me of David Walliams in 'Little Britain'

[Angela Woodford]

I doubt the senior staff even knew who the housemistresses were.

A few years after I left, I spotted in the CHOGA mag an obituary for Fanny written by Miss Morrison. It may have been skillful writing, but gave the impression that BJM was quite familiar with Fanny's organisational abilities, immaculate ways etc.

It was a surprise. As you say, Mary, the teaching staff and housemistresses seemed to revolve around each other without ever mingling - separate staff dining tables, I believe?

I'm amazed to think the Hag might have gone on to another job after she'd left 6's. Er... she seemed ancient to me in 1965!

Nobody ever mentions 7's OK Housemistress Mrs Browne. I used to drop in and out of 7's to visit my friend Deirdre - she seemed to me to be a reasonable vanilla Housemistress and a nice woman. I'd have liked to visit Mary in 3's, but couldn't bear to go through the please-may-I-speak-to routine with Lil. Possibly she would have said a grudging "yes" but only if no talking were to take place... Chinge your prip!

[Vonny]

I'm amazed to think the Hag might have gone on to another job after she'd left 6's. Er... she seemed ancient to me in 1965!

That's exactly how I felt when I heard that Laurie moved to another school when Hertford closed in 1985