Are we alone?

[ReallyMissingHer]

lonelymom with regard to the new rule about mortgage/rent payments it could work something like this:

Your mortgage payments are £4,100 per year so you are restricted to 12.5% of your gross income, which means that they only deduct £2,600 whereas if her payments were a little lower the whole amount would have been deducted.

[YadaYada]

If a single parent has a partner move in they have to declare for Working Parents Tax Credit and Child Tax Credit purposes and also for CH fees. Why? Because those are the rules.
Fraud is fraud and the honest people end up paying for it - whether it is benefit fraud or covering up income for the purpose of the fees assessment.

[huggermugger]

lonelymom with regard to the new rule about mortgage/rent payments it could work something like this:

Your mortgage payments are £4,100 per year so you are restricted to 12.5% of your gross income, which means that they only deduct £2,600 whereas if her payments were a little lower the whole amount would have been deducted.

Yup, that about covers it.

[huggermugger]

If a single parent has a partner move in they have to declare for Working Parents Tax Credit and Child Tax Credit purposes and also for CH fees. Why? Because those are the rules.
Fraud is fraud and the honest people end up paying for it - whether it is benefit fraud or covering up income for the purpose of the fees assessment.

My feelings exactly. And I don't care what advantage my child or I would gain (or lose)- I would not lie about it and I do not understand or even accept those who do.

[dinahcat]

Saying that because one parent is defrauding the system does not mean that others are as well, is putting your head in the sand. Just look at our esteemed MPs and their expenses.Almost every man jaack of them waas up to their necks in itand why? Becaause they could . There is no moral justifiction of it.Someone ( I forget who) has already said they can see why CH parents play the system and would probably do the same to keep their child at CH. Nobody thanks a whistle blower , I know , I really know but this is no way to carry on .
Along the same lines a single mother or farther who starts a new life with a new partner who supports their children in every other way and treats them as their own should be expected to contribute to their school fees. That is the life they buy into when the join the family. Do they refuse to buy them shoes or food because the children are not their own? I don't think so. No, they choose only to refuse to pay the fees because it will reduce their standard of living.Well ,welcome to the club of reduced Standard of Living People.

[huggermugger]

Re: the "loads of people must be doing it" argument I repeat my former post :

I do object to those parents who are deliberately disguising business accounts, not declaring second homes and those who claim to live alone when they have a partner whose income is part of the household income but who do not declare it. There must be some way to make these kinds of frauds more difficult to achieve as at the moement it appears to me that many of us can cite examples of peolple who appear to be or are definitely playing the system.

Do you actually know there are people doing this? If so, why aren't you reporting them to the school? That is the easiest way to make "these kind of frauds more difficult" - make them completely unacceptable!

Otherwise, I agree with you completely.

[dinahcat]

If you know anything about 'whistle blowing' then you will know how scary it is.I lost my marriage and my job and my home because I told the truth.At times I feared for my own safety and that of my children but I can not live looking over my shoulder very day and so I just get on with life. I would do it again in the same circumstances because I can sleep at night and I can look my children in the eye and say ,whatever it costs ,you must tell the truth if you see the greater good will benefit from these losses.
In this circumstance it isn't up to individuals to report what they suspect, or even know, because a friend hadsconfided or the evidence of your eyes and ears would confirm your suspicions. If children , parents and staff can see it and nothing is done then it would suggest that the Foundtion can not be the completely blind to it but see this as an unfortunate byproduct of the way the fees are asssessed and are prepared to liove with it.They won't therefore thank anyone for reporting it. Anyone who goes down this road will have rocky ride and will probably not feel it is worth it.

[lonelymom]

lonelymom with regard to the new rule about mortgage/rent payments it could work something like this:

Your mortgage payments are £4,100 per year so you are restricted to 12.5% of your gross income, which means that they only deduct £2,600 whereas if her payments were a little lower the whole amount would have been deducted.

Oh yes, I remember, thanks. In fact, I think I said somewhere on the forum that I'm worse off with this restriction too.

[lonelymom]

Along the same lines a single mother or farther who starts a new life with a new partner who supports their children in every other way and treats them as their own should be expected to contribute to their school fees. That is the life they buy into when the join the family. Do they refuse to buy them shoes or food because the children are not their own? I don't think so. No, they choose only to refuse to pay the fees because it will reduce their standard of living.

Exactly

[YadaYada]

If the Foundation has an inkling that there may be people "playing the system" then they could simply make it that the solicitor has to verify the income rather than just the signature....although I suspect that would then cost us more in solicitors fees...ouch!

[lonelymom]

I've been worrying about something all day, and I still don't know what to do. Last night my mother and father-in-law said that they'd like to take my daughter out on Saturday and buy her a new ipod as an early birthday present. Apparently when she went out with them a few weeks ago they saw her looking at them, but when they asked if she'd like one she declined. But they've been thinking about it, and they know how hard she's worked this year, and they really, really miss her, and they said they just want to get her one. She is completely unaware of their intention, and I'm not allowed to tell her so that it is a surprise, so at the moment I can still tell them that I don't want them to buy it. And I'm wondering if that's what I should do. As some people have said on this thread, it doesn't look good if pupils on low fees have got the latest gadgets, well, I'm on relatively low fees, and I don't want anyone to think badly of me or my daughter for having a new ipod. There doesn't seem to be a lot of point in her having it if she leaves it at home for fear of upsetting/annoying anyone, so if it would be a problem I would rather just say 'thanks, but no thanks'. I just wondered what people think I should do, or what they would do in my situation.

[LJG]

I think its really great that you have family that can buy her treats in this way. Let her enjoy it! The children at CH are well able to identify those children, and share in their pleasure, when they get a well deserved present from loving Grandparents.

[englishangel]

I absolutely agree with LJG. a one (or even two) off, "look what my grandparents bought me, aren't I lucky?" is fine, it is the non-stop flashing the cash which I disagree with. I had an aunt who had no children who did things like that for me.

[lonelymom]

Thanks, LJG and englishangel. I'll say they can take her out on Saturday and I'll see what happens - she may well decide she doesn't really want one after all. If she does get one though, I'll remind her that it's an early birthday present, and if her friends at school ask she should tell them just that.

[Mrs C.]

Yes, I agree - go ahead and accept their offer!!
What a wonderful present!
I`m sure she`ll be thrilled!!


It`s usually fairly obvious when the children have been given things as presents or have saved up for them themselves.
My earlier comments were more about those who return to school after every visit home with, for example the latest designer trainers (just how many pairs do you need???), yet another new gadget, expensive new clothes, stories about plans for the next foreign holiday ... etc etc.
OK they`re not the majority, but they DO exist!