Funny things your children have said

[CHAZ]

We are a bi-lingual family (English/French). Our son, Elliot who is 2, is just starting to impress us wih his large vocabulary which is mainly French.

Elliot -French-English

bassets = baskets = basketball shoes

titomam = hippopotame = hippopotamus

KAKA (!) = caca = everything which is dirty related!

and finally whenever he does something wrong , it always seems to be me the one to blame even if i am in another room!

papa fait bêtise!!

Nice kid

[Angela Woodford]

With three small children in the back of the car, distracting fights and squabbles used frequently to break out.

(A mother I knew in the same situation once achieved a pit-stop in a garage forecourt, ran in and bought a giant bag of E-numbers lurid sweets for the little back seat passengers, in sheer despair!)

However, I found a slightly unusual solution. Somehow (visit by one of my nieces?) a Madonna tape fell into our possession, and when a certain track, "Hanky Panky" was played, my children would all sing along quite happily.

"Ooh... hanky panky!
Nothing like a good spanky" etc.

They had no idea of what the words might mean, but the cassette was ideal for keeping the peace on journeys.

It was a tricky moment when I gave a lift to a very devout Baptist mother, who strictly vetoed anything unsavoury for her own brood. I shan't forget the chilled look of extreme horror she gave me when my lot on the back seat broke into a rousing chorus of

"Tie my hands behind my back and ooh I'm in ecstasy.."

One household to which we weren't invited again. Oh dear!

[midget]

Between the ages of 5 and 9 (when I went to CH) I used to wonder why Jesus' friend 'Painsey' was never mentioned anywhere except in the hymn 'There is a Green Hill Far Away....'

And it became a family joke which lasted for years when I came home from a friend's tea party (I was 5) anouncing with great excitement that I had LOVED the 'discontented milk sandwiches'

This thread could go on for years!

I was always worried about the "without a city wall" because at 7 yrs I couldn't think of a single hill I knew that DID have a wall, city type or not.

[kerrensimmonds]

OOh dear if only those Victorian hymn writers had thought about the angst they might have caused amongst the younger people of the next generation! I wonder if there are lessons to be learned here for modern hymn writers - or is that expecting them to be clairvoyant?
Apart from hymns, I really did LOVE the 'discontented milk' sandwiches - which, on translation, turned into 'condensed milk'. Can one still buy it?

[Katharine]

Our elder son started by classifying all members of the animal kingdom, including soft toys, as Cats. This did lead to confusion at times, to put it mildly, also amusement. We were in Pakistan at the time and one day we saw a Big Cat on the road - a camel! Gradually he learnt there were such things as dogs as well. One glorious day he saw a 'Not cat, not dog' in the garden - it was a beautiful honey coloured mongoose. (That mongoose went on to raise young in the garden - apparently kittens even to linguists - I prefer mongoslings!)

Eventually the only thing left that was called simply Cat which wasn't obviously feline was a blue teddy bear. That persisted being called Cat for a couple of years until Jeremy had a revelation in the middle of the sermon one Sunday, and announced to all in a loud voice that Cat wasn't a Cat he was a Teddy. As there were only two fair haired children in the church, and they were both beside me, I couldn't disown him!

[Angela Woodford]

OOh dear if only those Victorian hymn writers had thought about the angst they might have caused amongst the younger people of the next generation! I wonder if there are lessons to be learned here for modern hymn writers - or is that expecting them to be clairvoyant?

'condensed milk'. Can one still buy it?

How I remember this one, Kerren:

"There is a fountain filled with blood
Drawn from Emmanuel's veins
And sinners plunged within that flood
Lose all their guilty stains!

The dying thief rejoiced to see
That fountain in his day
and there may I, as vile as he
Wash all my sins away"

And so on in a similar, er, vein.

(Condensed milk - yes! Check out the David (sejintenej) recipe. It's fab!)

I never wondered much about the green hill without a city wall. I just thought that it was probably a hill too small to develop into a city, and, with all those crucifixions, a wall would have been in the way...

I did get a surprise when I saw an actual vineyard. In all my books of Illustrated Bible Stories, Naboth's Vineyard was a sort of lovely little Percy Thrower 50's pergola, laden with glorious bunches of ripe purple grapes. The real thing was a bit of a disappointment!

[englishangel]

Condensed milk can be found in tubes (like tomato paste or indeed toothpaste) and in cans. It is made by Fussells.

[J.R.]

Condensed milk can be found in tubes (like tomato paste or indeed toothpaste) and in cans. It is made by Fussells.

Very popular in my day from the lovely Mrs Tickner in the school tuck-shop.

[jhopgood]

Condensed milk can be found in tubes (like tomato paste or indeed toothpaste) and in cans. It is made by Fussells.

Why did I always think it was "Condemned Milk"?
Maybe because we only got it when the real stuff ran out.

[midget]

Condensed milk, Camp coffee and hot water. Passed for coffee when I was evacuated.

[kerrensimmonds]

I think I am geared up now to Go Looking for Condensed Milk when I do my weekend shopping! (I bet that if I try to make sandwiches with it again, they will be disgusting!). When I was a teenager, my mum used to make delicious iced coffee using Camp Coffee (I remember the tall square sided bottle) - but I don't recall ever drinking it 'hot'. Does it still exist? It was made, if I recall, from all sorts of ingredients but none of which came from coffee beans?
Kerren

[J.R.]

Camp coffee is STILL readily available in all good stores.

[kerrensimmonds]

Thanks, JR. I shall add it to my Sainsbury list (with 'discontented' milk) this weekend, and will report back!

[Angela Woodford]

Camp coffee is STILL readily available in all good stores.

I picked up a bottle to admire it in a nostalgic way recently JR, and look! the label has been changed. It used to be a picture of British Officer being brought Camp Coffee by an Indian servant. Now, Indian and British Officers are sitting side by side enjoying the coffee together! A nice alteration, I think!

[J.R.]

Camp coffee is STILL readily available in all good stores.

I picked up a bottle to admire it in a nostalgic way recently JR, and look! the label has been changed. It used to be a picture of British Officer being brought Camp Coffee by an Indian servant. Now, Indian and British Officers are sitting side by side enjoying the coffee together! A nice alteration, I think!

I remember reading about that Angela.

It was considered to be 'politically-correct' to change the label, for obvious reasons !

To mis-quote a famous line from 'Fawlty Towers'.......

"What ever you do, DON'T mention the Raj !!"