Unofficial Christ's Hospital Forum

Farmer Joe decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company responsible for the accident to court. In court the trucking company's fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,"' asked the lawyer. F...

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, her nine year old son hides in the closet and watches them. One day the woman hears a car pull into the driveway and tells her lover to hide in the closet, as she fears he will not be able to sneak out fast enough. Inside the closet...

Ours was 5 lengths, dive and count the fingers on a hand held under water. Your own hand didn't count. Does anyone remember a competition called the Plunge, where it was a question of seeing how far you could get after diving in without moving hands or feet? It took place during the swimming competi...

A man and his wife were sitting in the living room and he said to her, "Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." His wife got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out all of his b...

My father's death cerificate said "Old Age", which upset my mother who is a retired SRN.

The latest nominee for this year's Darwin Award goes to.... 1. Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to stra...

3. A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball. The friend - no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate - was hospitalised. 2. Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of a gas l...

5. A 27-year-old French woman lost control of her car on highway near Marseilles and crashed into a tree, seriously injuring her passenger and killing herself. As a commonplace road accident, this would not have qualified for a Darwin nomination, were it not for the fact that the driver's attention ...

7. Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants around their ankl...

I am sure everyone knows that the Darwin Awards are handed out to those who deserve not to procreate. I have not seen them mentioned elsewhere, but if they are, I am sure someone will let me know. If not, here they are, with requests for CH candidates. When I ran on the Hash, we had a pr..k of the w...

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, "Ah, you're an engineer -- you're in the wrong place." So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and sta...

A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?&quo...

To prepare for his big date, the young man went up on to the roof of his apartment building in order to tan himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the nude. Unfortunately, the young man fell asleep while on the roof, and managed to get a sunburn on his "tool of the trade&qu...

Barnes B 25, which I inherited from a Joe Curtis, whose brother Robin was also in Barnes B. My brother was Barnes B 28 which he inherited from Mike Hilliard. Can't remember anyone else's though, but I doubt that I knew them when I was at CH. Given that we all had names, and only infrequently a rela...

Barnes B 25, which I inherited from a Joe Curtis, whose brother Robin was also in Barnes B. My brother was Barnes B 28 which he inherited from Mike Hilliard. Can't remember anyone else's though, but I doubt that I knew them when I was at CH. Given that we all had names, and only infrequently a relat...