"ALL GIRLS TOGETHER"

[Fjgrogan]

The only thing I can remember about Miss Pye-Smith's lessons in Biology was having to draw a twig, so I put mine on the page and drew round it - my artistic skills are still virtually nil!

[englishangel]

Oh Frances, I do empathise, I joined the Art Club when I was sbour 14 and we were given a topic to design clothes. My 'model' looked a little like the Incredible Hulk in her green trouser suit. (1968)

[Lizzyfrog]

Speaking of art, did other houses have a big-deal Christmas "Decs" event? Was it perhaps competitive between houses? In 7s I think it was a lower or upper fifth project...they spent weeks planning and preparing the most amazing, intricate creations and then put them up in the dayroom while the rest of us were on All Out or something. My mother still has a letter I wrote home describing the "decs" when I was in my first year at CH. I was obviously enchanted, especially by the 37 beautifully drawn and coloured angels, one to represent each of us, identified not by our numbers for once but by some recognisable feature of name or character. My angel had long blonde hair and waved a tricolore. Whoever drew me - possibly the lovely Judith Pook, who was very artistic - was very kind and left out the little blue, winged NHS glasses I so loathed! Perhaps it was a Sunday, on reflection, as we then had a special Christmas tea complete with jelly, which was a complete luxury! Speaking of loathing, incidentally - what would a psychiatrist make of the fact that I firmly scribbled out my own face on a house group photo of all of 7s? This was even before my self-esteem hit total rock bottom after being sent inexplicably to coventry by three girls in my house year for a full term. AND before the Hair Incident which has left me with a lasting phobia of hairdressers! In 1969 or 1970, those of us juniors with long hair in 7s were marched up t'inf following an outbreak of nits in the house. There we were confronted, with no prior warning, with a hairdresser DR had drafted in from the town to chop off our hair. My mother said the school had phoned and made her feel it would be highly irresponsible if she refused permission although she knew this would be devastating to me. It was! I thought I was a walking blemish at that time anyway, and the only thing I liked about myself looks-wise was my long fair hair. I remember some of the other girls giggling and looking shocked when I (and presumbably some other unfortunately shorn people, though I am afraid I selfishly only remember my own misery!) came back to house. An older girl (Kate Poulton, two years ahead of me) must have spotted my dismay and was incredibly kind to me - she told me I looked like something out of Petticoat or Nova magazine, which made me feel better though it patently wasn't true! Sorry, this has turned into a bit of a ramble...

[englishangel]

Speaking of art, did other houses have a big-deal Christmas "Decs" event? Was it perhaps competitive between houses? In 7s I think it was a lower or upper fifth project...they spent weeks planning and preparing the most amazing, intricate creations and then put them up in the dayroom while the rest of us were on All Out or something. My mother still has a letter I wrote home describing the "decs" when I was in my first year at CH. I was obviously enchanted, especially by the 37 beautifully drawn and coloured angels, one to represent each of us, identified not by our numbers for once but by some recognisable feature of name or character. My angel had long blonde hair and waved a tricolore. Whoever drew me - possibly the lovely Judith Pook, who was very artistic - was very kind and left out the little blue, winged NHS glasses I so loathed! Perhaps it was a Sunday, on reflection, as we then had a special Christmas tea complete with jelly, which was a complete luxury! Speaking of loathing, incidentally - what would a psychiatrist make of the fact that I firmly scribbled out my own face on a house group photo of all of 7s? This was even before my self-esteem hit total rock bottom after being sent inexplicably to coventry by three girls in my house year for a full term. AND before the Hair Incident which has left me with a lasting phobia of hairdressers! In 1969 or 1970, those of us juniors with long hair in 7s were marched up t'inf following an outbreak of nits in the house. There we were confronted, with no prior warning, with a hairdresser DR had drafted in from the town to chop off our hair. My mother said the school had phoned and made her feel it would be highly irresponsible if she refused permission although she knew this would be devastating to me. It was! I thought I was a walking blemish at that time anyway, and the only thing I liked about myself looks-wise was my long fair hair. I remember some of the other girls giggling and looking shocked when I (and presumbably some other unfortunately shorn people, though I am afraid I selfishly only remember my own misery!) came back to house. An older girl (Kate Poulton, two years ahead of me) must have spotted my dismay and was incredibly kind to me - she told me I looked like something out of Petticoat or Nova magazine, which made me feel better though it patently wasn't true! Sorry, this has turned into a bit of a ramble...

I think the decs were put up in 2's after the juniors had gone to bed. There are mentions elsewhere. Don't worry about the rambling, you are not the first and you certainly won't be the last.

[midget]

Back to Miss Pye-Smith. She even got embarrassed at the mating habits of bees! (Cue stifled giggles from a class of about 6 Upper Sixth). I spent a 3rd year in the UVI (we didn't have gap years then) because the LCC wanted me to try for a State scholarship, which would have relieved them from paying my grant at med. school. Having already got the 3 A levels, I said no way was I doing another year of the botany part of Biology, so I wanted to do Zoology. Poor Miss P-S didn't much care for that, but agreed eventually. She said they couldn't afford to give me a second go at dissecting a rabbit, so I had to be content with an evil stinking rat!

[fra828]

Hello FRA - yes, I did (and do!) have a younger sister, Alison, who was in 8s for a couple of years. Were you a contemporary of hers/ours? I remember she was friendly with a girl called Carina Williams... She and I both found boarding school very hard - if you remember her you may also recall that she managed to run away! Aged 12, and about four foot nothing, off she went, with nothing but some Ribena and a sandwich in a bag, over the wall to Hertford East, up to Liverpool Street and then on another train to King's Lynn where our father was already waiting for her, having been tipped off by me (I climbed over the wall, too, down behind the swimming pool somewhere I think, to a phone box - it never occurring to me to speak to a housemistress or DR)! I was later hauled into Dot's office where she was stern but actually quite kind - and Alison was "allowed" to leave at the end of term! I have some fun memories of midnight feasts in 8s, which I snuck into once or twice: we stuffed cotton wool around the alarm on the fire escape outside the dorm and I would nip over and join her for some delicious illicit tuck! We had "MF"s in 7s too, and I often wonder if Ma B (Mrs Browne) actually knew about them and turned a blind eye. She wasn't as bad as some of the HMs. I think 8s HM was called Priggers, but I might have that wrong - didn't she have a daughter who was there sometimes, who had a hole in the heart or some other problem?

I vaguely remember Alison running away, I was also a 'runaway'! She was popular in the house and we were sorry she left so early on. I was a couple of years older than Alison and Carina, so a year older than you I guess. Was Rosie Kirkup in your year in 7's? She also had a sister in 8's-Sue, who was in my year. I can remember that incident with the nits-didn't DR think you caught them on the train from Liverpool Street?! I just remember it being announced in the dining room one lunchtime-why there though, seemed very insensitive? Then you all showed off your new hairstyles which seemed well cut and actually yes they WERE (early 70's) trendy weren't they? Wasn't yours a pageboy cut and Rosie K's a short feathered style? We all admired them. Many memories of CH are very blurred but this stands out-I don't know why! Mrs Pryke aka Mrs Gardiner was HM in 8's- nickname Prickers! She had a daughter at another boarding school -in Harpenden, I think. Can't remember if she had any health problems, but you may well be right. How horrible for you to be sent to coventry for a whole term, you must have felt really lonely.

[Kim2s70-77]

This was even before my self-esteem hit total rock bottom after being sent inexplicably to coventry by three girls in my house year for a full term.

.

The same thing happened to me in the 4th form. I do not, to this day, understand the transgression that led to this cruel treatment. i once asked, several years later - and was told..."well if you don't know, we're not telling you". Very helpful!

[olefours]

This was even before my self-esteem hit total rock bottom after being sent inexplicably to coventry by three girls in my house year for a full term.

.

The same thing happened to me in the 4th form. I do not, to this day, understand the transgression that led to this cruel treatment. i once asked, several years later - and was told..."well if you don't know, we're not telling you". Very helpful!

Since some girls and ward staff were unhappy and felt insecure at CH, it's probably not surprising that there was bullying, on the 'bully or be bullied' principle?
Insecurity seems now to have been a major feature of daily life. When sent for by DR or wardmistress, you didn't know what you might be accused of, and feel guilty about. But you could attempt to take power over someone else by making her life a misery. I can't remember doing that, but I'm sure I did, and I'm sorry.

[Lizzyfrog]

Hello FRA - yes, I did (and do!) have a younger sister, Alison, who was in 8s for a couple of years. Were you a contemporary of hers/ours? I remember she was friendly with a girl called Carina Williams... She and I both found boarding school very hard - if you remember her you may also recall that she managed to run away! Aged 12, and about four foot nothing, off she went, with nothing but some Ribena and a sandwich in a bag, over the wall to Hertford East, up to Liverpool Street and then on another train to King's Lynn where our father was already waiting for her, having been tipped off by me (I climbed over the wall, too, down behind the swimming pool somewhere I think, to a phone box - it never occurring to me to speak to a housemistress or DR)! I was later hauled into Dot's office where she was stern but actually quite kind - and Alison was "allowed" to leave at the end of term! I have some fun memories of midnight feasts in 8s, which I snuck into once or twice: we stuffed cotton wool around the alarm on the fire escape outside the dorm and I would nip over and join her for some delicious illicit tuck! We had "MF"s in 7s too, and I often wonder if Ma B (Mrs Browne) actually knew about them and turned a blind eye. She wasn't as bad as some of the HMs. I think 8s HM was called Priggers, but I might have that wrong - didn't she have a daughter who was there sometimes, who had a hole in the heart or some other problem?

I vaguely remember Alison running away, I was also a 'runaway'! She was popular in the house and we were sorry she left so early on. I was a couple of years older than Alison and Carina, so a year older than you I guess. Was Rosie Kirkup in your year in 7's? She also had a sister in 8's-Sue, who was in my year. I can remember that incident with the nits-didn't DR think you caught them on the train from Liverpool Street?! I just remember it being announced in the dining room one lunchtime-why there though, seemed very insensitive? Then you all showed off your new hairstyles which seemed well cut and actually yes they WERE (early 70's) trendy weren't they? Wasn't yours a pageboy cut and Rosie K's a short feathered style? We all admired them. Many memories of CH are very blurred but this stands out-I don't know why! Mrs Pryke aka Mrs Gardiner was HM in 8's- nickname Prickers! She had a daughter at another boarding school -in Harpenden, I think. Can't remember if she had any health problems, but you may well be right. How horrible for you to be sent to coventry for a whole term, you must have felt really lonely.

Brave of my sis to run away, I always thought - you too! I wonder if she got the idea from your success? Would love to hear your story. xx If Alison had told me her plans at the time I think I'd have colluded or even gone too, but I didn't know until someone from 8s came and told me...

On the nits story, wish I'd known at the time that we didn't look too bad; I was cringingly self-conscious about it and have never felt comfortable with hairdressers ever since! Daft, I know. I even took an evening NVQ hairdressing course once to try to lay the ghost; it didn't really work but at least I can cut my own and colour my friends' quite competently! When my own daughter and her friends got nits in junior school they were so easily dealt with - there was really no need to make us feel such pariahs. And fancy announcing it to the whole school in the dining hall - how unkind - I'd forgotten that bit! Yes, mine was a "pageboy" and Rosie's was feathered. I remember both Kirkup sisters - they lived in Lincoln, their mother was widowed and they were both incredibly bright... Rosie was nice, but unfortunately she was one of the three girls who took against me I never knew what I'd done wrong; I think it began after I'd been away in the infirmary for a couple of weeks: when I came back to house the dynamics of our year group had changed completely and these three (two really but another joined in a lot) wouldn't speak to me unless it was to torment. I remember it as a really horrible and isolating feeling. Luckily I had good friends in my school form and in the year above me in 7s, but I never mentioned it as I would have felt ashamed to admit being disliked by these popular girls. I haven't honestly thought about it for years but I know it scarred me and affected my friendships at day school later - I was very anxious to please and apologetic about everything for years! Phew! What a marathon post. But discovering this website has brought it all (temporarily!) to the surface, and writing about it is surprisingly cathartic. I've spent HOURS on this site this weekend - you'd think I hadn't got a family or a life!

[Lizzyfrog]

This was even before my self-esteem hit total rock bottom after being sent inexplicably to coventry by three girls in my house year for a full term.

.

The same thing happened to me in the 4th form. I do not, to this day, understand the transgression that led to this cruel treatment. i once asked, several years later - and was told..."well if you don't know, we're not telling you". Very helpful!

Kim, I've just sounded off a bit about this in a post responding to the nits story - but your experiences do sound quite similar to mine. DId it affect you longer term, or did it all resolve for you? Did anything positive come of it for you? I think if I can draw anything good from it retrospectively, it did make me extra appreciative of the friends I made later; I am still in close and regular contact with a good handful of much-valued friends from the day school I went to after CH. It also made me fiercely protective of any underdog I've ever encountered! I think bullying - for that is what it was - is perhaps even harder when you are boarding than in a day school context. We might not have told our parents if we'd been at home but at least we''d have had a cuddle at bedtime! x

[fra828]

Hello FRA - yes, I did (and do!) have a younger sister, Alison, who was in 8s for a couple of years. Were you a contemporary of hers/ours? I remember she was friendly with a girl called Carina Williams... She and I both found boarding school very hard - if you remember her you may also recall that she managed to run away! Aged 12, and about four foot nothing, off she went, with nothing but some Ribena and a sandwich in a bag, over the wall to Hertford East, up to Liverpool Street and then on another train to King's Lynn where our father was already waiting for her, having been tipped off by me (I climbed over the wall, too, down behind the swimming pool somewhere I think, to a phone box - it never occurring to me to speak to a housemistress or DR)! I was later hauled into Dot's office where she was stern but actually quite kind - and Alison was "allowed" to leave at the end of term! I have some fun memories of midnight feasts in 8s, which I snuck into once or twice: we stuffed cotton wool around the alarm on the fire escape outside the dorm and I would nip over and join her for some delicious illicit tuck! We had "MF"s in 7s too, and I often wonder if Ma B (Mrs Browne) actually knew about them and turned a blind eye. She wasn't as bad as some of the HMs. I think 8s HM was called Priggers, but I might have that wrong - didn't she have a daughter who was there sometimes, who had a hole in the heart or some other problem?

Brave of my sis to run away, I always thought - you too! I wonder if she got the idea from your success? Would love to hear your story. xx If Alison had told me her plans at the time I think I'd have colluded or even gone too, but I didn't know until someone from 8s came and told me...

On the nits story, wish I'd known at the time that we didn't look too bad; I was cringingly self-conscious about it and have never felt comfortable with hairdressers ever since! Daft, I know. I even took an evening NVQ hairdressing course once to try to lay the ghost; it didn't really work but at least I can cut my own and colour my friends' quite competently! When my own daughter and her friends got nits in junior school they were so easily dealt with - there was really no need to make us feel such pariahs. And fancy announcing it to the whole school in the dining hall - how unkind - I'd forgotten that bit! Yes, mine was a "pageboy" and Rosie's was feathered. I remember both Kirkup sisters - they lived in Lincoln, their mother was widowed and they were both incredibly bright... Rosie was nice, but unfortunately she was one of the three girls who took against me I never knew what I'd done wrong; I think it began after I'd been away in the infirmary for a couple of weeks: when I came back to house the dynamics of our year group had changed completely and these three (two really but another joined in a lot) wouldn't speak to me unless it was to torment. I remember it as a really horrible and isolating feeling. Luckily I had good friends in my school form and in the year above me in 7s, but I never mentioned it as I would have felt ashamed to admit being disliked by these popular girls. I haven't honestly thought about it for years but I know it scarred me and affected my friendships at day school later - I was very anxious to please and apologetic about everything for years! Phew! What a marathon post. But discovering this website has brought it all (temporarily!) to the surface, and writing about it is surprisingly cathartic. I've spent HOURS on this site this weekend - you'd think I hadn't got a family or a life!

Not sure about success at running away! It was with a friend from another house-resulted in us being suspended from school and I was only allowed back to take 2 O'level re-sits (friend left the following term, I think) ! By that time I was in the LV1 and just had enough of all those petty rules. Miss Wilson wrote on one report in LV1 that I should left after 5th form and gone to college, and in hindsight, that's what I SHOULD have done! I only wanted to go back for 6th form because I didn't want to leave my CH friends . Anyway the 'escape plan' involved us walking to Hertford North station, which was on the other side of Hertford and travelling to Kings Cross-don't know how we paid the fare as I can only remember having 50p in my pocket! Our plan was to visit another OG who had left a few years before and was working as a nanny in Chelsea. But we didn't get that far- we 'gave ourselves up' at a police station, cos it was getting late and we had no money and were hungry - not as well planned as Alison's when she a least took a bite to eat and drink!! Miss Tucker and her mum(!) came and collected us later that night. Miss T didn't seem all that angry at the time and I remember they were having a conversation about how interesting it was to drive thru London at that time of night, when people were coming out of all the theatres! The next day we were put up tin'f- (where we went when they didn't know where to put us!!) After that is a blur, but our parents must have come to collect us. I remember the relief when I got home-I met up with a friend I knew from primary school who was doing Alevels at the time, and we both did revision in the local library .I could concentrate so much better there than at CH, and the wonderful feeling of being able to walk home-I can still remember the sense of freedom I felt! I passed the 2 Olevels incidentally, with good grades thanks to that work at the library!

[Kim2s70-77]

!

Kim, I've just sounded off a bit about this in a post responding to the nits story - but your experiences do sound quite similar to mine. DId it affect you longer term, or did it all resolve for you? Did anything positive come of it for you? I think if I can draw anything good from it retrospectively, it did make me extra appreciative of the friends I made later; I am still in close and regular contact with a good handful of much-valued friends from the day school I went to after CH. It also made me fiercely protective of any underdog I've ever encountered! I think bullying - for that is what it was - is perhaps even harder when you are boarding than in a day school context. We might not have told our parents if we'd been at home but at least we''d have had a cuddle at bedtime! x[/quote]

Well, a couple of things came from the experience. I came top in just about every subject that term, as there was little else to do but study! I also put up a wall of protection that is rarely completely 'down' and which can be erected in seconds. I have good friends and lots of acquaintances, but I trust them 'to a point'. Beyond that point, I trust myself. I think my desire to be 'part of the crowd' and my relief, at the time, of being {randomly and arbitrarily} reinstated as a person with whom communication could occur, led to my ability to appear at ease and friendly with people even if I hold back. It did not ruin my CH experience - neither did negative experiences with Housemistresses - but all of these things added to the lenses through which I view the world. One thing that was affected, though, was a tendency to be able to walk away from people, with scarcely a backwards glance. I live in another country from my family of origin and have lost most of my friends every time I move. It is always easier for me to 'start fresh' - less painful. Interestingly, this forum and facebook have helped with reconnection. This forum in particular has been most cathartic and healing! Thank you all for that!!

[Eighhttwelve]

Not sure about success at running away! It was with a friend from another house-resulted in us being suspended from school and I was only allowed back to take 2 O'level re-sits (friend left the following term, I think) ! By that time I was in the LV1 and just had enough of all those petty rules. Miss Wilson wrote on one report in LV1 that I should left after 5th form and gone to college, and in hindsight, that's what I SHOULD have done! I only wanted to go back for 6th form because I didn't want to leave my CH friends . Anyway the 'escape plan' involved us walking to Hertford North station, which was on the other side of Hertford and travelling to Kings Cross-don't know how we paid the fare as I can only remember having 50p in my pocket! Our plan was to visit another OG who had left a few years before and was working as a nanny in Chelsea. But we didn't get that far- we 'gave ourselves up' at a police station, cos it was getting late and we had no money and were hungry - not as well planned as Alison's when she a least took a bite to eat and drink!! Miss Tucker and her mum(!) came and collected us later that night. Miss T didn't seem all that angry at the time and I remember they were having a conversation about how interesting it was to drive thru London at that time of night, when people were coming out of all the theatres! The next day we were put up tin'f- (where we went when they didn't know where to put us!!) After that is a blur, but our parents must have come to collect us. I remember the relief when I got home-I met up with a friend I knew from primary school who was doing Alevels at the time, and we both did revision in the local library .I could concentrate so much better there than at CH, and the wonderful feeling of being able to walk home-I can still remember the sense of freedom I felt! I passed the 2 Olevels incidentally, with good grades thanks to that work at the library![/quote]

I remember your incarceration up t'inf fra828 - you must have been let out once and were sitting on a blanket on the field. Several of us spotted you (I must have been in the 3rd Form by then) but we dared not approach you because I think we had been told on no account was anyone to attempt to contact you or speak to you. It's all very hazy now but even so I can still feel how unkind it seemed to have you sent to Coventry by official decree!

[Kim2s70-77]

The traditional response seemed always to be that the condition might be contagious!!

[chaosriddenyears]

Kim who sent you to Conventry? I do hope I wasn't one of them because I simply don't remember anything about it. It's strange how some memories stand out so vividly and then there are long gaps of time where everything is blurred and confused.

Someone mentioned on this thread the Christmas decs - I remember this - in 5's at least this was done by the fifth form. Our effort was to erect a life-sized crib. We borrowed a shop window model and carted it in three naked pieces through Hertford, giggling at Charlie Lycett because she was carrying the torso which sported a particularly opulent bosom. This we draped in true biblical fashion to be Mary, but as there was no way of ridding her of the blue eyeshadow and improbable eyelashes, she made a rather shady and definitely non-virginal impression. Joseph presented us with even greater problems and we fashioned his head out of paper maché. In spite of our artistic leanings, this was obviously not an area in which our talents were at their strongest. He was stubborn to all our combined efforts and bore a close resemblance to a manic serial killer, however hard we worked on him. He had a very distinctive aroma about him, which as the festive period of Advent progressed, became ever stronger until the day-room smelt rather like a morgue.

His head also drooped rather over night, but we continued to prop it up every morning with ever-increasing hilarity until it was time to take down the decs and go home for the Christmas holidays.