IVs, 5s, and 6s

[Vonny]

So Kirri was a year young for her year - I didn't realise that. I remember at least one in my year who was 18 months younger than me!

Oh yes - I remember Fiona - or her sister really as she was in 2's (& BaB as well I think - not sure about that actually!).

[lonelymom]

Lonelymum - we didn't know the reason for anything in our lives!!!

That's really sad. But a real sign of how much things have changed in our society. I can't imagine any child today putting up with what you all did, and, I have to say, I'm glad they wouldn't. The way you were spoken to, the way you were treated, and the degrading things they made you do, like the weighing and measuring thread, is awful! My mum wanted to go to Hertford, in fact she was on the reserve list (according to her letter she was 1st reserve) in what would have been the 1964 intake - she still maintains that she subsequently saw a letter offering her a place, my nan denies it - but I have to say that I'm glad she didn't go! I'm not taking anything away from any of you, and I'm sure you all look back on your time at Hertford and not have any major regrets, but I would hate to think that my mum would have been spoken to the way you were, and treated with such contempt by the people who were supposed to be caring for her! Thank God it wouldn't be allowed to happen anymore.

[mvgrogan]

Kirri was the youngest & the smallest (hard to believe now!) in her year - it was on that basis that she had the honour of presenting the "lord" Mayor with a bouquet the year the "lord" mayor was actually a Lady!

Fiona was in 6s & BaA - not sure which house Jane went into at Horsham, don't think it was BaB; she was in 2s at Hertford. Kirri was in 3s & BaA.

[GillyW]

I rather bucked the trend at Hertford, since I joined in the UIV (3rd year), having taken the exam a bit later. I think I just squeaked in because I was a year young for the year, generally girls weren't allowed in after the LIV at the latest and very few joined after the IIIrd form. I remember still being referred to as the new girl by my peers when we were all the UVI. I also got out of line becauuse Su, who was in 5's was, and still is, my best friend from school. Somehow, having a friend in another house was looked on as a bit of an aberration - do you remember Miss Thompson (?) 3's housemistress and her end of prep instruction 'Girls - go back to your houses in silence!'.
Su put me onto this forum and I can see that it could easily take up a great deal of one's life..........

[Jo]

Lonelymum - we didn't know the reason for anything in our lives!!!

That's really sad. But a real sign of how much things have changed in our society. I can't imagine any child today putting up with what you all did, and, I have to say, I'm glad they wouldn't. The way you were spoken to, the way you were treated, and the degrading things they made you do, like the weighing and measuring thread, is awful! My mum wanted to go to Hertford, in fact she was on the reserve list (according to her letter she was 1st reserve) in what would have been the 1964 intake- she still maintains that she subsequently saw a letter offering her a place, my nan denies it - but I have to say that I'm glad she didn't go! I'm not taking anything away from any of you, and I'm sure you all look back on your time at Hertford and not have any major regrets, but I would hate to think that my mum would have been spoken to the way you were, and treated with such contempt by the people who were supposed to be caring for her! Thank God it wouldn't be allowed to happen anymore.

Oh boy - now I feel old!! You have kids at CH (can't remember how old)......your Mum is only four years older than me... that means I could very nearly have grandchildren at CH.

I really wish you hadn't said that..............

[Katharine]

Lonelymum - we didn't know the reason for anything in our lives!!!

That's really sad. But a real sign of how much things have changed in our society. I can't imagine any child today putting up with what you all did, and, I have to say, I'm glad they wouldn't. The way you were spoken to, the way you were treated, and the degrading things they made you do, like the weighing and measuring thread, is awful! My mum wanted to go to Hertford, in fact she was on the reserve list (according to her letter she was 1st reserve) in what would have been the 1964 intake - she still maintains that she subsequently saw a letter offering her a place, my nan denies it - but I have to say that I'm glad she didn't go! I'm not taking anything away from any of you, and I'm sure you all look back on your time at Hertford and not have any major regrets, but I would hate to think that my mum would have been spoken to the way you were, and treated with such contempt by the people who were supposed to be caring for her! Thank God it wouldn't be allowed to happen anymore.

Lonelymum times were very different then from now. Speaking personally, and I can only speak personally, it wasn't all bad! I remember having a lot of fun, and generally being happy. I think that in many ways we accepted that was just the way the CH world worked. When I look back the adult me wonders why I didn't kick against things a lot more. There were definitely things that were unfair and I knew that at the time and it grated. I received a good education, I was academic and went to Oxford. Although as someone totally unmusical and not very sporty I felt a bit of a failure by CH standards, I left school with a good CV as a Queen's Guide and a DofE Gold Award holder, and the ability to talk to anyone about almost anything. I also had the ability to make almost any garment, provided I had a paper pattern and to mend almost any garment too! In no way do I regret my time there. I have no idea what would have happened to me had I been educated elsewhere!

[MaryB]

" My mum wanted to go to Hertford, in fact she was on the reserve list (according to her letter she was 1st reserve) in what would have been the 1964 intake"

It was a very fine year - and would have been finer still with her in it!

(Can somebody tell me how to do quotes properly - please)

[su523]

re being discouraged from having friends in other houses, I had to ask permission to visit my twin sister Ann in the next door house ... Yes it did seem odd but no, it wouldn't have occurred to me to complain or question it.
I seem to recall that there was a little notebook on a ledge in the hall by the Upper VIth study that you had to fill in to say where you were going if you went to another house. Anyone else remember this or am I delusional (again)?

Su
5s (in fact 5.23)
1967-73

[GillyW]

Yes. I remember the book. Also being told that visiting wasn't allowed - I seem to remember having to ask permission from the housemistress of the house you were visiting

[MKM]

"(Can somebody tell me how to do quotes properly - please)

Just use the quote button on the top right of the post you want to quote. If you don't want to to quote the whole thing then just delete the parts you don't want.

[Jo]

Lonelymon, as someone who grumbles periodically about my time at Hertford, and specific incidents in particular, I should perhaps confess that I wasn't unhappy for the entire 8 years - far from it. I doubt I could have stuck it out if I had been. I was very homesick at the start of each term, and I felt very indignant about various injustices, but for the most part I was relatively happy. The education was good, I had some good friends, I learned to be independent from my parents, and doubtless there were other benefits too. My parents used to tell me that I could leave if I wanted to, but I never wanted to.

It might seem strange, given some of the incidents we have recounted, but generally we accepted things. I told my mother many years later about Miss S and the sanitary towels and she seemed surprised "I'd have had something to say about that if I'd known!!" (she wouldn't, she was scared stiff of DR herself ). But we were brought up not to question or challenge adults however odd their actions and decisions seemed.

Which might make it seem as though we would all grow up to be timid, abuse-accepting adults ourselves, but I think generally we saved our rebellion for our adult selves and mostly we are probably now more sensitive than many people to injustices and seeing people deprived of privacy and dignity.

Not sure if any of that makes any sense; I think what I'm saying is that we tend to- sometimes cathartically, sometimes because it makes a good anecdote - dwell on some of the worst things here, when everyday life was much more normal.

[chaosriddenyears]

I think you are right Jo - although I had some experiences at Hertford which made me very unhappy indeed, I enjoyed having good friends and a good laugh as well. On the whole life ticked along and we groaned about our boredom but particularly in the VIth form we were really interested in what we were learning and found ways and means of amusing ourselves.
What I really enjoyed was being surrounded by agile minds and quick wits.

[lonelymom]

Not sure if any of that makes any sense; I think what I'm saying is that we tend to- sometimes cathartically, sometimes because it makes a good anecdote - dwell on some of the worst things here, when everyday life was much more normal.

Yes, it does make sense, and I hadn't thought of that. I guess the point about this thread is that you only recount the highs and lows, not all the stuff in the middle, so I'm only hearing all the good and bad bits (though more recently just lots of bad bits!) It is very interesting reading though, and at some point I'm going to make my daughters read what you all went through so they can see how much things have changed. I know my mum looks at this forum all the time - she isn't a member I don't think, but she is certainly a 'lurker' - and I wonder if, reading this thread, she would still wish she'd gone to Hertford. Knowing her, I suspect she would have given both arms for the chance!

And Jo, I'm sorry I made you feel old

[gma]

"(Can somebody tell me how to do quotes properly - please)

Just use the quote button on the top right of the post you want to quote. If you don't want to to quote the whole thing then just delete the parts you don't want.

Thanks for that, I've been copying and then Clicking on the quote in the reply box and then pastEing between the two words quote!

What's peculiar about this tHread is that I'd forgotten some of this and I was there!! I remember the Vth all seemed terribly grown up and some quite glamourous! Parvin Patel in 2s in particular, always envied the curly hair and she was probably the first person who made me realise how dumpy I was becoming, not by saying anything, just by being! Sigh !

[J.R.]

"(Can somebody tell me how to do quotes properly - please)

Just use the quote button on the top right of the post you want to quote. If you don't want to to quote the whole thing then just delete the parts you don't want.

Thanks for that, I've been copying and then licking on the quote in the reply box and then pasting between the two words quote!

What's peculiar about this tread is that I'd forgotten some of this and I was there!! I remember the Vth all seemed terribly grown up and some quite glamourous! Parvin Patel in 2s in particular, always envied the curly hair and she was probably the first person who made me realise how dumpy I was becoming, not by saying anything, just by being! Sigh !

Time for an edit, me-thinks, or would you like me to do it