Hertford hygeine, hierarchies and heartache (from CH Forum)

[Angela Woodford]

Katharine -

Yes decades later, I still feel angry on behalf of all the talented girls who were not recognised as gifted by the CH Hertford system.

Yes, I still feel terribly hurt by the Wendy Lee/Anne-Marie Kelly/Ruth McCurry punishment system. You were occupied being the "bees knees" and I don't think you realised the torment your Study members were inflicting. Why would you?

Every so often I think of how hard it was to survive all those punishments.

I think sometimes of Judith Pook. Pook was my schoolma in 1's. She was an incredible pianist and flautist (grade 8 distinction in both instruments whilst at school) but above all she was an amazing artist. Her surrealist paintings were mature and bizarre - but was her talent applauded and cultivated? Of course not. Pook never fitted into the mould as a "swan". Tragically she committed suicide two years after leaving school.

How I applaud the women who remain balanced and successful after leaving Hertford.

In the UVI, those most promising for Oxford and Cambridge drew apart into a select band, leaving the rest of us in an "also ran" category, devastating in a way, for there was no proper careers advice.

Munch

Munch

[Vonny]

Yes decades later, I still feel angry on behalf of all the talented girls who were not recognised as gifted by the CH Hertford system.

I can relate to that comment. I wasn't particularly academic at school. I came from being top of the class at primary school to feeling, for want of a better expression, thick at CH. Those who shone in class seemed to have it all and were often the ones picked to be school monitors as well. Could a less academically minded pupil not be trusted with the task of being a monitor for the school? That's what it made me think anyway.
I used to hate prize giving at Hertford - I never got a prize and had to sit through the ceremony listening to the same old names being called out year after year.
I was very sporty but this wasn't really recognised.

[Mrs C.]

some things never change......

[J.R.]

....... and then of course, there is the monitor lizard !


ARGHHHHH !!!

[icomefromalanddownunder]

Katharine -

Yes decades later, I still feel angry on behalf of all the talented girls who were not recognised as gifted by the CH Hertford system.


Hi Munch

I do understand your anger. I guess my emotions are more frustration and regret that it took me so long to realise that, actually, I am an OK person with a reasonable amount to offer. I am so glad that I left at the end of UV and spent two years at St Martin's - once again I was encouraged to play sport, even though I was not particularly good, and was a valued member of the school orchestra, having gone from being a keen musician at Richard Atkins to a total failure at CH. Well, feeling like a total failure because I wasn't one of the truly gifted musicians like Bun and Cathy.

I have to admit that reading 'Half To Remember' left me laughing and shaking my head. The woman who had told me that I couldn't be a Vet, and that I would never amount to anything because I was leaving CH at the end of UV, couldn't even cook Oh, and her use of commas left a lot to be desired, too Why did I spend five years in fear and awe of her? Actually, it was really only fear, as I don't think that I felt awe when standing in chapel and observing a pair of legs wearing odd stockings.

I'm losing the plot here, but think that what I am trying to say is that the staff and senior pupils who had so much control over our daily lives were/are no more or less human and fallible than the rest of us, and that we were playing a role of our choice in the drama. I have no idea why, what the lessons were that we were supposed to be learning, or why it all had to be so detrimental to our self-esteem, but I do know that things are still not perfect. There were bullying teachers in the schools which my two children attended: I hope that I was able to ameliorate the effect that they had on my children's esteem.

Yes, I still feel terribly hurt by the Wendy Lee/Anne-Marie Kelly/Ruth McCurry punishment system. You were occupied being the "bees knees" and I don't think you realised the torment your Study members were inflicting. Why would you?

I'm not sure that I realised the effect on my peers. My memories are of individual misery, believing that I was failure because I was unable to fit in/comply, but that everyone else was doing just fine.



In the UVI, those most promising for Oxford and Cambridge drew apart into a select band, leaving the rest of us in an "also ran" category, devastating in a way, for there was no proper careers advice.

Yes, I do remember being told what I 'could not' become, but don't recall any positive advice or information.

Munch

Munch

I got interrupted half way through typing this reply - 'Come on , Sue (my supervisor), can't you see that I'm just not interested in what ever it is you want me to do, and let me get back to replying to Munch?'

Not sure whether it makes sense, but hope that you sense my concern. I decided some time ago that life is just too short to bother about being angry. Um, trying to think of an affirmation that is given at Reiki I attunement - 'Just for today I will try not to be angry'. I use it a lot when driving at peak times

Love

Caroline

[Angela Woodford]

You're right Caroline. I had a bad day yesterday, too. Now I've had my rant...

Two weeks ago I fell and hit my head, cutting my forehead quite badly. then I went back to work and fell in a flower bed, slicing my sutures open again. Weird, to do the same thing twice! Perhaps hitting my head has brought on a fit of fury! Sorry everyone.

Caroline, I'm hunting for the rose hip oil you recommend as a scar fader. Can't find it so far!

I'm visiting Siobhan's mother today. So off to Balham!

Love

Munch

[englishangel]

I was incredibly mediocre, bright-ish, sporty-ish, musical-ish, the only thing I was good at was keeping the 11th commandment. In fact I was so mediocre that when a month or so ago I contacted someone who had been a year below me in 2's (same house) she couldn't even remember me though she did remember someone who had left at the end of her first year.

I think the only thing I did that was outstanding was get made a mon at the beginning of Lower Sixth, though I wasn't allowed to wear my green apron to lunch on the last day of fifth form as the other 'new' (Lower sixth) mons were.

[icomefromalanddownunder]

Caroline, I'm hunting for the rose hip oil you recommend as a scar fader. Can't find it so far!

I'm visiting Siobhan's mother today. So off to Balham!

Love

Munch

Hi Munch

I can access rosehip oil at any alternative shop, and most pharmacies - it lives with the essential oils and carriers. Let me know if you would like me to air express some to you.

Hope that Jean is well - and Siobhan too.

Love

Caroline

[icomefromalanddownunder]

I was incredibly mediocre, bright-ish, sporty-ish, musical-ish, the only thing I was good at was keeping the 11th commandment. In fact I was so mediocre that when a month or so ago I contacted someone who had been a year below me in 2's (same house) she couldn't even remember me though she did remember someone who had left at the end of her first year.

I think the only thing I did that was outstanding was get made a mon at the beginning of Lower Sixth, though I wasn't allowed to wear my green apron to lunch on the last day of fifth form as the other 'new' (Lower sixth) mons were.

Hi Mary

I reckon I can top that. When I was finally awarded my Black Apron (which I desperately wanted only so that I could leave the grounds with the other responsible members of the UV), it was taken away again the same day - at lunchtime, I think.

All these years later, I still haven't learnt not to mouth off at authority figures

Caroline

[J.R.]

I was incredibly mediocre, bright-ish, sporty-ish, musical-ish, the only thing I was good at was keeping the 11th commandment. In fact I was so mediocre that when a month or so ago I contacted someone who had been a year below me in 2's (same house) she couldn't even remember me though she did remember someone who had left at the end of her first year.

I think the only thing I did that was outstanding was get made a mon at the beginning of Lower Sixth, though I wasn't allowed to wear my green apron to lunch on the last day of fifth form as the other 'new' (Lower sixth) mons were.

Hi Mary

I reckon I can top that. When I was finally awarded my Black Apron (which I desperately wanted only so that I could leave the grounds with the other responsible members of the UV), it was taken away again the same day - at lunchtime, I think.

All these years later, I still haven't learnt not to mouth off at authority figures

Caroline

Good for you !

[sejintenej]

All these years later, I still haven't learnt not to mouth off at authority figures

Caroline

Good for you !

That is one important thing that you should never ever learn. Most of them are overgrown selfish kids who need to be put in their places - underfoot like a bug

[J.R.]

Exactly David.

As long as you are not obscene or racial, there is absolutely nothing wrong it putting a 'jobsworth' in their place.

[Angela Woodford]

Caroline, I'm hunting for the rose hip oil you recommend as a scar fader. Can't find it so far!

I'm visiting Siobhan's mother today. So off to Balham

Hi Munch

I can access rosehip oil at any alternative shop, and most pharmacies - it lives with the essential oils and carriers. Let me know if you would like me to air express some to you.

Hope that Jean is well - and Siobhan too.

Love

Caroline

Well, success Caroline! Trundling Jean's chair down Balham High Road, we found a fantastic alternative therapies shop, and there was the rosehip oil featured in the front display! But thank you so much for your kind offer - I do appreciate it. I googled the potion when I got home, and you're right - it's the very latest thing to minimise scarring. And there was me with memories of Delrosa Rosehip Syrup!

I've been left with such a horrible scar sort of between the eyes - it makes me look permanantly cross. I have indeed been transformed into a Miserable Old Bat! So may the Rosa Mosqueta form S America do its bit...

Love

Munch

[icomefromalanddownunder]

I've been left with such a horrible scar sort of between the eyes - it makes me look permanantly cross. I have indeed been transformed into a Miserable Old Bat! So may the Rosa Mosqueta form S America do its bit...

Love

Munch

Hi Munch

Your oil sounds very exotic: I was pretty sure that the one I have didn't come from Rosa mosqueta.

Mad the mistake of checking the label - it's sourced from Rosa eglanteria.

Now I can't get a song which has absolutely nothing to do with roses out of my head:

'Sir Eglamore that gallant knight,
Falalankydowndilly.'

Does this bring back memories for anyone?

I bet Liz or Alex can remember the rest of the words ......................

[Angela Woodford]

I was pretty sure that the one I have didn't come from Rosa mosqueta.

Mad the mistake of checking the label - it's sourced from Rosa eglanteria.

There are ? 250 wild roses! Expect some make better oils from their hips than others. Doesn't Rosa pimpinellifolia have a daft fickle sound to it?

Now I can't get a song which has absolutely nothing to do with roses out of my head:

'Sir Eglamore that gallant knight,
Falalankydowndilly.'

Does this bring back memories for anyone?

I bet Liz or Alex can remember the rest of the words ....................

Yes! I can vaguely hum the tune, but don't remember the words. Think we sang it in Aural Training with Miss Cordery! Falankydowndilly indeed!

Love

Munch