If you're male you WON'T want to read this.........

Ferenc · Post by **Ferenc** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 12:37 pm

From the Oxford Mail the other day:

A local man is recovering in hospital after nailing his testicle to a roof.

The unnamed 40-year old man from Abingdon was tiling a roof when he accidentally put a nail through his left testicle with an air-pressurized nailgun. Unable to remove the nail, and with no-one else around, he had no option but wait and shout in agony for help, which arrived five minutes later when a passer-by rang for an ambulance.

The man is said to be recovering well in hospital, though it is not known whether he will remain fertile.

Scone Lover · Post by **Scone Lover** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 12:40 pm

Oh damn that is making me squirm so much

I wonder if they put what was left of it in a jar and let him take it home to put on his mantle piece?

DavebytheSea · Post by **DavebytheSea** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 12:42 pm

Ferenc wrote:From the Oxford Mail the other day:

A local man is recovering in hospital after nailing his testicle to a roof.

The unnamed 40-year old man from Abingdon was tiling a roof when he accidentally put a nail through his left testicle with an air-pressurized nailgun. Unable to remove the nail, and with no-one else around, he had no option but wait and shout in agony for help, which arrived five minutes later when a passer-by rang for an ambulance.

The man is said to be recovering well in hospital, though it is not known whether he will remain fertile.

Sounds as though he made a complete balls-up of the job.

Jude · Post by **Jude** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 1:56 pm

Poor guy!
mind you he was disobeying all the H&S rules -there are supposed to ALWAYS be 2 people if there is a ladder involved, and as he was on the roof......

Anyhow - at least he is on the mend - and he still has the other testicle to be possibly fertile with - that is if he was fertile in the first place - sadly the male population are losing their fertility at a greater rate than expected, and that isn't the population getting older - it's the teenagers - and new 20's.. I think it was some horrendous figure of 25% lower fertility rate than 10 years ago - makes you wonder what Labor have put in the water!

Scone Lover · Post by **Scone Lover** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 1:58 pm

If wonder if sweetmeats were on the menu at the Radcliffe?

Jude · Post by **Jude** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 2:02 pm

Scone Lover wrote:If wonder if sweetmeats were on the menu at the Radcliffe?

Aren't they brains????

Scone Lover · Post by **Scone Lover** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 2:04 pm

They can also be more tear inducing

Jude · Post by **Jude** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 2:06 pm

I'm glad I'm not male then!

Scone Lover · Post by **Scone Lover** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 2:07 pm

Well lets just say that the story has left me crossing my legs even though it hurts to do that

Jude · Post by **Jude** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 2:08 pm

I wonder if it was his larger testicle or his smaller one.....????

Scone Lover · Post by **Scone Lover** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 2:09 pm

I bet it was bl**dy huge after that!

Jude · Post by **Jude** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 2:25 pm

still,
I expect he's feeling better now - and won't repeat the action again!

blondie95 · Post by **blondie95** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 7:03 pm

i bet he is still staying well away from roof's, tiles and nail guns for a long time

J.R. · Post by **J.R.** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 7:07 pm

Reminds me of a Channel 4 programme many moons ago about perverse pleasures that some men enjoy and are willing to pay for.

Suffice it to say it involved both a cheese grater and a piece of emery paper.

Truly cringe invoking.

jhopgood · Post by **jhopgood** » Thu Oct 19, 2006 8:43 pm

I'm sure this story is similar to a Darwin Award winner.
The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who remove themselves from it in really stupid ways.
Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt Sanchez tried to wash his own "balls" in a ball washer at the local golf course. Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix, Sanchez managed to straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much to his dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on the machine with Sanchez's scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in the mechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsed and tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of the ball washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testicles are in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link. Sanchez's scrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked from him forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle was compressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer, and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury, Sanchez broke a new $300 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and was using to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery, and the remaining three some were asked to leave the course. This last one wouldn't normally count, because the idiot didn't die. But because he cannot reproduce as a result of his qualifying act of stupidity, we have allowed it.

Unofficial Christ's Hospital Forum

If you're male you WON'T want to read this.........

If you're male you WON'T want to read this.........

Re: If you're male you WON'T want to read this.........