Legacy letter

[Katharine]

I received a letter asking me to consider leaving CH a legacy today. It was personalised in that it was the one for those of us who were at Hertford.
Am I oversensitive at the moment or does this sentence demean the value of Hertford?

Whilst you attended CH in Hertford rather than Horsham, you know only too well how CH as an institution shapes lives ...

It wasn't our fault we didn't wear Tudor clothes, didn't have the rolling expanses of the Horsham estate ... we believed we were equals of the boys and part of the great heritage which is CH

I am aware that at the moment my feelings may be all up in the air, as we prepare for my Mother's funeral as I have said elsewhere she was a great lover of the Foundation - widow of an OB, sister-in-law of an OB, mother of two OBs, grandmother of an OB - the last had the true CH experience of both sites!

[michael scuffil]

First my condolences, Katharine.

As for the letter, I would say it was an unfortunate but unthinking choice of words probably written by someone born after Hertford closed, for whom possibly Hertford isn't 'really' CH (although of course it predated Horsham by centuries). It should have been vetted by someone more senior who, one hopes, might have known better.

[Foureyes]

Katherine,
I agree with you entirely - an entirely insensitive remark.
Anyone with the slightest knowledge of Housie history knows that not only was a girl the first person ever to be registered, but that since then they have always been a totally integrated part of the CH family. Indeed, the girls' school was only physically separated from the boys from 1902 (when the boys' Prep moved from Hertford to Horsham) to 1985 when the girls themselves also moved also to Horsham.
So, I am right with you on this one!
David

[Katharine]

Thank you David and Michael.

To my surprise I found this email from Sarah Clifton, Development Officer, when I returned today from Mother's funeral. I think it is a very gracious apology, and I hope that whoever writes the next appeal letter will have learnt from this.

I was very sorry to read on the CH Unofficial forum that we upset you with our recent legacy campaign letter, especially at such a difficult time for you and your family.

Our letter did not intend to demean the value of Hertford at all, rather simply acknowledge that your CH experience was at Hertford rather than Horsham. I totally agree that the all Old Blues are equal and share the heritage of a unique establishment. I am sorry that our letter upset you and agree that it was clumsily phrased. Please accept my apologies.

[seajayuu]

I agree with you Katharine.

It reads rather like "Whilst you (only) attended CH in Hertford rather than Horsham, (even) you know only too well how CH as an institution shapes lives ..." I must be having a paranoid day!

At one OB's day, several years ago, an elderly OB who was standing behind me said "I don't know where all these women have come from - I didn't know there was a girls' school"

I thought that Horsham had got over itself by now. Maybe it's my turn and I should get over myself.

[seajayuu]

Time for some humble pie. Katharine and my posts crossed in posting. It was indeed a gracious and prompt reply from CH. I take it back about CH, although there are some male OBs who beggar belief sometimes - I suspect that they are a dying breed however.

[Katharine]

Thank you Chrissy, presumably you had the same letter as me and felt the same way!

[Mid A 15]

Thank you David and Michael.

To my surprise I found this email from Sarah Clifton, Development Officer, when I returned today from Mother's funeral. I think it is a very gracious apology, and I hope that whoever writes the next appeal letter will have learnt from this.

I was very sorry to read on the CH Unofficial forum that we upset you with our recent legacy campaign letter, especially at such a difficult time for you and your family.

Our letter did not intend to demean the value of Hertford at all, rather simply acknowledge that your CH experience was at Hertford rather than Horsham. I totally agree that the all Old Blues are equal and share the heritage of a unique establishment. I am sorry that our letter upset you and agree that it was clumsily phrased. Please accept my apologies.

Katharine, I am sorry to read about the loss of your mother. I hope the funeral today went as well as it could in the sad circumstances.

As a "Horsham boy" I can see exactly why you were unhappy with the wording of this letter.

At least they have had the good grace to recognise the insensitivity however and offered a gracious apology.

[Katharine]

Thanks, the funeral was yesterday, in Cambridge. Today we drove home to Snowdonia. I think it all went well, I gave the eulogy and only cracked on the last sentence.

One story of her life that may amuse CH. Mother grew up in Ireland, but was determined to get away and train as a nurse. Her parents made her live in Dublin for a year, before going to England, so she worked as a nanny. The eldest of her three charges kept in touch with her all his life, including inviting her to key events, such as becoming Sherriff, Alderman and finally Lord Mayor of London! So if anyone went to the Mansion House in 1979 and shook hands with Sir Peter Gadsden, you shook hands with her young charge!